- Jack O'Neill: It's O'Neill, with *two* L's. There's another Colonel O'Neil with only one L. He has no sense of humor at all.
- Jack O'Neill: Will you excuse me? We just don't get out of Cheyenne Mountain enough. I'm gonna grab some air... outside. General, Captain, General... waiter.
- Jack O'Neill: [Jacob is skeptical about SG-1's cover-story] I retired myself one time. Couldn't stay away.
- Jacob Carter: From your analysis of Deep Space Radar Telemetry?
- Jack O'Neill: [deadpan] Well, it's just so damn fascinating.
- Jack O'Neill: You know, I can navigate my way across a galaxy, but I get lost every time I come to Washington.
- Samantha Carter: Don't worry, sir. These are my old stompin' grounds.
- Jack O'Neill: Sorry to hear that.
- Heru'ur: Once I have conquered Aphophis I will make slaves of your people.
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: No; I don't think so.
- Armin Selig: [the journalist approaches Jack, drinking a beer at the bar, and plays a tape of him talking to Sam about the Stargate, then says to the bartender] I'll have a beer.
- Jack O'Neill: Why don't you have mine;
- [he finishes drinking his beer and hands the journalist his glass]
- Jack O'Neill: I haven't touched it.