Star Trek: Voyager (TV Series)
Message in a Bottle (1998)
Robert Picardo: The Doctor
Photos
Quotes
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The Doctor : How did you manage to release the neurozine? I never opened the ventilation system.
EMH #2 : Trapped in the Jefferies tube, alone, nowhere to run, his smug comrade captured by Romulans, EMH Mark II had to improvise. Inspiration! He accessed the main computer and simulated a ship-wide bio-hazard, making the computer think there was a micro-biotic contamination on all decks.
The Doctor : [understanding] And the ventilation system opened automatically.
EMH #2 : Presto! He then crawled back out of the tube, accessed the holo-emitters, transferred here, excused the Romulan, saw the dumbfounded look on his comrade's face...
The Doctor : The end! You know, you really should keep a personal log. Why bore others needlessly?
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The Doctor : The warbirds are in retreat! Doctor, we've done it!
EMH #2 : Two holograms alone, Romulans on one side, Starfleet on the other, alarms beeping everywhere!
The Doctor : EMH Mark II, newborn, but filled with courage.
EMH #2 : EMH Mark I, armed with years of experience.
The Doctor : Together they emerged triumphant.
EMH #2 : The End.
[computer beeps]
EMH #2 : Or not.
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The Doctor : Stop breathing down my neck!
EMH #2 : My breathing is merely a simulation.
The Doctor : So is my neck. Stop it anyway!
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Cmdr. Rekar : Tell me who is operating your program. Is it someone on this ship, a Starfleet crew member we missed, or one of my own men?
The Doctor : Paranoia is a way of life for you, isn't it?
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EMH #2 : Have you run a self-diagnostic lately? The EMH Mark I is designed to function in sickbay only.
The Doctor : Voyager lost its Chief Medical Officer four years ago. I've been active ever since.
EMH #2 : Four years? No wonder you're delusional.
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The Doctor : [having sent EHM Mark-2 to tactical] What are you waiting for? Shoot!
[EHM Mark-2 looks about]
The Doctor : Shoot!
EMH #2 : There are so many controls.
The Doctor : Find the one that says 'fire' and push it!
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The Doctor : Three more ships are approaching.
EMH #2 : We're doomed!
The Doctor : No. They're Starfleet!
[Prometheus is rocked by a phaser hit]
EMH #2 : What are they doing?
The Doctor : Firing on us!
EMH #2 : They must think Romulans are on board!
The Doctor : They're right!
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Cmdr. Rekar : What else have you done to this ship? I will deactivate you unless you start answering my questions.
The Doctor : If I answer them, you'll very likely deactivate me anyway, so I fail to see the point.
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The Doctor : When I requested more away missions, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.
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The Doctor : I assure you, I am in perfect health. I was saving Voyager from annihilation when you were only a gleam in your programmer's eye.
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EMH #2 : [haughtily] Yes! Yes, yes, yes. You're the Mark I EMH, the inferior program.
The Doctor : [indignantly] Inferior?
EMH #2 : Beady eyes, terrible bedside manner. I recognize you.
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The Doctor : [on the bridge of the Starship Prometheus] I've had my share of piloting experience. Actually, only two lessons - and they were in a shuttlecraft, on the holodeck - but I showed great intuition.
The Doctor : [looks around, puzzled] Where's the helm?
EMH #2 : You'd better intuit it fast. We're only about eight minutes from the Romulan border.
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EMH #2 : Doctor, some... thing just went offline.
The Doctor : Specifically?
EMH #2 : The secondary gyrodyne relays in the propulsion field intermatrix have depolarized.
The Doctor : In English!
EMH #2 : I'm just reading what it says here.
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The Doctor : I'm as close to a sentient life-form as any hologram could hope to be. I socialize with the crew, fraternize with aliens. I've even had sexual relations.
EMH #2 : Sex? How's that possible? We're not equipped...
The Doctor : Let's just say, I made an addition to my program.
EMH #2 : Before you leave, maybe you could download those subroutines into my database.
The Doctor : We'll see.
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The Doctor : Now, I need to know more about what's happening. Is the Federation at war with the Romulans?
EMH #2 : No. The Romulans haven't gotten involved in our fight with the Dominion.
The Doctor : The who?
EMH #2 : Long story.
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[the EMH-2 fires a torpedo, which ends up hitting a Federation Defiant-class ship]
The Doctor : You hit the wrong ship!
EMH #2 : It wasn't my fault!
The Doctor : Well, then, whose fault was it, the torpedo's? You're supposed to tell it what to do!
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The Doctor : Far be it from me to turn down an opportunity to become a hero.
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[last lines]
Captain Kathryn Janeway : Doctor. Report
The Doctor : I... I did it.
Captain Kathryn Janeway : You completed the mission?
The Doctor : Yes. Once the Romulans were out of the way.
Tuvok : Romulans?
The Doctor : They'd taken over the Prometheus, the ship I was on, but I managed to turn the tables on them with a little help from a fellow EMH
Chakotay : You got through to Starfleet?
The Doctor : I spoke directly with headquarters. Apparently, Voyager was declared officially lost fourteen months ago. I set the record straight. I told them everything that's happened to this crew. They said they would contact your families to tell them the news and promised that they won't stop until they've found a way to get Voyager back home. And they asked me to relay a message. They wanted you to know... you're no longer alone.
Captain Kathryn Janeway : 60,000 light years... seems a little closer today.
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The Doctor : Refresh my memory. Which of us has the terrible bedside manner?
EMH #2 : You're not my patient.
The Doctor : My first bit of good news.
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Captain Kathryn Janeway : Good luck, Doctor.
The Doctor : There's that word again.
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[the Doctor and the EMH #2 desperately try to deal with three Romulan warbirds surrounding them]
Sub-Commander Almak : This is the Warbird T'Met calling the Prometheus. Commander Rekar, respond. Commander.
The Doctor : [adopting a deep voice] This is the Prometheus.
Sub-Commander Almak : Activate your viewscreen.
The Doctor : Our viewscreen is not operational. We've had some trouble with Starfleet commandos.
Sub-Commander Almak : Where is Rekar?
The Doctor : In the medical bay. He's suffered minor injuries.
Sub-Commander Almak : Identify yourself.
EMH #2 : [to the Doctor, whispering] You first.
The Doctor : You first.
Sub-Commander Almak : Repeat your last statement. I don't understand.
The Doctor : State YOUR identity.
Sub-Commander Almak : This is Sub-Commander Almak. Lower your shields and prepare to be boarded.
The Doctor : They're already down. Maybe there's something wrong with your sensor readings. You'd better not try to transport until we can be sure it's safe.
Sub-Commander Almak : Lower your shields immediately or I'll open fire.
The Doctor : Immediately? Yes. Prometheus out.
[as the Doctor ends communication. the Romulans start firing]
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The Doctor : Yes. Your friend is recovering nicely; however, I found something disturbing in his blood work. It seems he's been exposed to a nasty strain of the Torothka virus, and if he was, you all may have been. I've come to run some scans.
Cmdr. Rekar : No one here is sick.
The Doctor : Not yet. I understand the stomach cramps are unbearable, although some say the rash is worse.
Cmdr. Rekar : Conduct your scans.
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The Doctor : Go cower in the data processor, if you'd like.
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The Doctor : [opening up access towards a jefferies tube] Your journey begins here.