- [last lines]
- Chief O'Brien Replicant: Keiko...
- Chief O'Brien: What about her?
- Chief O'Brien Replicant: Tell her... I love...
- [collapses]
- Doctor Bashir: Well, your sense of humor seems normal enough.
- Chief O'Brien: I don't have a sense of humor.
- Doctor Bashir: Cough.
- [O'Brien coughs]
- Doctor Bashir: How's the sex life?
- Chief O'Brien: I don't *have* a sense of humor.
- Doctor Bashir: Cough!
- [O'Brien coughs]
- Doctor Bashir: Everything all right in that department?
- Chief O'Brien: That department is none of Starfleet's business, or yours.
- Chief O'Brien: [voiceover] They'd even broken into my personal logs to see what they could find in there... I hope they enjoyed reading the sexy letters to my wife.
- Doctor Bashir: [Bashir is trying to expose O'Brien as a Replicant under the pretence of a medical examination] Any dizziness... oversleeping... lack of energy... euphoria?
- Chief O'Brien Replicant: Yes. All of them. Especially euphoria. Lots of euphoria.
- Chief O'Brien: Look, if you're determined to keep me here until you find something wrong with me, I'll see if I can't grow you a hangnail.
- Doctor Bashir: Eye problems? Hearing? Headaches?
- Chief O'Brien: Headache! There you go. In fact, I'm getting a very bad one right now!
- Doctor Bashir: Short temper - flies off the handle under the slightest provocation. Perfectly normal behavior.
- Chief O'Brien: Ah, I'm glad you're enjoying this.
- Doctor Bashir: Sorry. I know how you feel about doctors.
- Chief O'Brien: It's not doctors I have a problem with, it's
- Chief O'Brien, Doctor Bashir: you, Julian!
- Quark: So, er... tell me about the Paradas. They're gonna be here when, tomorrow?
- Chief O'Brien: Why do you want to know anything about the Paradas?
- Quark: It's always good business to know about new customers *before* they walk in your door.
- Chief O'Brien: Hm. And which Rule of Acquisition is that?
- Quark: [chuckles] Oh, one of the high numbers - 194, I think.
- Chief O'Brien: Well, there was one thing I noticed. Oh, I don't know if it means anything or not, but the Paradas have an odor - from some kind of skin excretions, I'd guess. It changes with their moods. When they're upset, it can get pretty strong, actually.
- Commander Sisko: Hm... Then I'll try not to get them upset.
- [Dr. Bashir is carrying out a physical check-up on O'Brien]
- Chief O'Brien: Are you nearly finished? I believe you've poked into every orifice in my body - and created a few new ones!
- Chief O'Brien: [voiceover] I mean, the way they were acting, they might have been trying to pull off one of those surprise parties that I can't stand. Only, my birthday's not until September; and believe me, as it turned out, I had nothing else to celebrate.
- Chief O'Brien: [after replicating a coffee] You're drinking too much of this stuff, O'Brien... Anything to stay alert, O'Brien.
- Chief O'Brien: [voiceover] I like to think I'm a man with many talents. But waiting isn't one of them.
- Chief O'Brien: Where did I go? Now you see me, now you don't. What's it gonna be, fellas? I can play hide-and-seek with the best of them.
- Chief O'Brien: [voiceover] All I could think of, as I looked at her, was that this was not my Keiko.
- Chief O'Brien: I worked on the pylon controls the better part of the day. Needle in a haystack wouldn't do this job justice.
- [first lines]
- Chief O'Brien: Computer, set heading 140 mark 32.
- Computer Voice: Course laid in.
- Chief O'Brien: Maximum warp. Engage. Time to Parada system?
- Computer Voice: 1 hour, 14 minutes.