Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (TV Series)

The Magnificent Ferengi (1998)

Chase Masterson: Leeta

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Quark : [to a group of Bajoran maintence workers carrying several big crates]  Just set them on the bar.

  [to Morn] 

  Quark : Morn, no touching.

  [to the crowd of customers; in a loud voice] 

  Quark : Do you what this is? Three cases of syrup of squill!

  Leeta : [eagerly]  I love syrup of squill on my groat cakes. But I haven't seen a jar in over a year.

  Quark : No one has.

  Odo : Does this mean that the drought on Balancar is over?

  Quark : [pleased with himself]  There never was a drought. It was all a ploy by their Agricultural Consortium. They've been stockpiling squill so they could drive the prices up.

  Leeta : [vexed]  *That's* dishonest!

  Quark : [still pleased with himself; as he props himself on the bar counter]  I couldn't agree more. You know... I once did business with the nephew of the cousin of the stepsister of a friend of the secretary to the consortium's chief accountant.

  [pause; Quark checks himself] 

  Quark : [mumbling]  Um... nephew, cousin... stepsister... friend... Yup, that's right!

  Quark : [back to an audible voice]  And he told me, in passing, that the accountant had bought himself a very nice pair of Ferengi rain slippers.

  Odo : [dryily]  And... if there *was* a drought, he wouldn't need rain slippers.

  Quark : My thoughts exactly!

  [boastful, with his chest puffed up] 

  Quark : So... I set up a meeting with this accountant and told him that he either provide me with a shipment of syrup, or I'd expose their deception to the entire quadrant!

  [the crowd applauds] 

  Quark : [holding up a jar of syrup]  Tomorrow morning, we're having a special on groat cakes with syrup of squill - that is, for anyone who can afford it!