Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (TV Series)

Ferengi Love Songs (1997)

Wallace Shawn: Zek

Photos 

Quotes 

• Zek : Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.

  [Rule of Acquisition 208] 

• Zek : Did you see their faces? They thought they had me, but we showed them! I answered all their questions, didn't I?

  Quark : You certainly did.

  Zek : The state of the trade negotiations with the Breen, why I dumped our lokar bean investments, why I insisted we buy up every bit of jevonite we could get our hands on.

  Quark : You were brilliant. You know, for a moment there I actually thought that Brunt's head was going to explode with frustration!

  Zek : By the time I'm finished with him, he'll wish it had. Blam!

  [laughs] 

  Zek : Blam!

• [Quark has just entered his room to discover Grand Nagus Zek and his towering assistant Maihar'du hiding in his closet] 

  Quark : [in awe]  Grand Nagus?

  Zek : [defensive]  Quark, what are you doing here?

  Quark : [stammering]  I-I'm just visiting my mother...

  Zek : That's no excuse! You've been banned by the FCA. You *must* leave Ferenginar AT ONCE!

  [Zek throws Quark's bag into Quark's arms. Quark immediatley runs out of his room. He runs past Ishka, who looks at him worried] 

  Quark : [panicky]  Gotta go! The Nagus knows I'm here!

  [Quark suddenly stops as he realizes something] 

  Quark : [suspicious]  Wait a minute... *What's* the *Nagus* doing in my closet?

  Ishka : [innocently]  The Nagus?

  Quark : [turning to look at his mother; his eyes narrowed]  *Moogie*!

  Ishka : [Ishka sighs; calling out]  Zekkie... You might as well come out!

  Quark : [high outraged voice]  *Zekkie?*

  [whispers] 

  Quark : What's going on?

  Ishka : [sheepishly]  Next time you visit, Quark... I'd really appreciate it if you called first.

  Quark : That doesn't answer my question.

  [Zek and Maihar'du enter] 

  Zek : [with piercing eyes; pointing a gnarled finger at Quark]  "Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a question is an *answer*"!

  Quark : [labeling the rule Zek quoted; breathlessly]  Rule of Acquisition two-oh-eight!

  [Quark glares at his mother; frantic] 

  Quark : *You're* in trouble again, aren't you? What have you done now?

  [to Zek; very frantic now] 

  Quark : Whatever it is, I know nothing about it!

  [back to Ishka; out of his mind with panic] 

  Quark : Tell him, Moogie! Tell him I'm innocent!

  Ishka : [calmly]  Relax, Quark. I'm not in any trouble.

  Quark : [confused]  You're not?

  Zek : [amicable]  Why should she be in trouble?

  Quark : [stumbling over his words]  I don't know... I just thought... since you were here... I..

  [Quark is at a loss. He rubs his head, defeated] 

  Quark : I don't know what I thought. I'm so confused.

  Zek : [gently; exchanging a loving look with Ishka]  About what? It's really quite simple... You see, Quark... Your mother and I... . *are* in love!

  [Quark staggers back mystified shock and surprise as Zek puts his arm around Ishka, who grins happily] 

• Zek : I may have lost my memory, but not my sense of humor!