Star Trek (TV Series)

Mudd's Women (1966)

William Shatner: Captain James Tiberius 'Jim' Kirk

Photos 

Quotes 

• Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh : Don't you think you could possibly, by accident, arrange to leave me behind here? On this planet, that would be punishment enough.

  Captain James T. Kirk : I can't do that, Harry, but I will appear as a character witness at your trial, if you think that'll help.

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh : They'll throw away the key.

• Captain James T. Kirk : [referring to the women]  Is this your crew, Captain?

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh : Well, no, Captain. This is me cargo.

• Captain James T. Kirk : Bridge to transporter room. How many did we get off?

  Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott : [staring at Mudd's women]  Oh. Erm... Four in all, sir.

  Captain James T. Kirk : If the captain that vessel can walk, I want him in my cabin immediately. Correction, I want him there whether he can walk or not. Kirk out.

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh : That fellow sounded a mite upset, didn't he?

  Lt. Cmdr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D. : [staring at Mudd's women]  Yes... yes they are.

• Captain James T. Kirk : Destination and purpose of journey?

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh : Planet Ophiucus III, wiving settlers.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Come again, Mr. Mudd? You do what?

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh : I recruit wives for settlers. A difficult but satisfying task.

• Captain James T. Kirk : Computer, go to sensor probe. Any unusual readings?

  Computer Voice : No decipherable reading on females. However, unusual reading on male board members. Detecting high respiration patterns, perspiration rates up, heartbeat rapid, blood pressure higher than normal.

  Captain James T. Kirk : That's sufficent. Strike that from the record, Mr Spock.

• Eve McHuron : We've got men willing to be our husbands waiting for us and you're taking us in the opposite direction. Staring at us like we were Saturnus harem girls or something.

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh : That's enough, Evie.

  Captain James T. Kirk : The only charges are against Mr. Mudd: Illegal operation of a vessel.

  [to Harry Mudd] 

  Captain James T. Kirk : Do you have any defense to offer?

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh : Only heaven's own truth; which I have just given you.

• Eve McHuron : I read once a commander has to act like a paragon of virtue. I never met a paragon.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Neither have I.

• Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh : Don't you think you could by possibly, mm, by accident, arrange to leave me behind here? On this planet, that would be punishment enough.

  Captain James T. Kirk : I can't do that, Harry. But I will appear as a character witness at your trial, if you think that will help.

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd aka Leo Walsh : [Mournfully]  They'll throw away the key.

• Captain James T. Kirk : Well, come on, you're the doctor. What is it? Is it that we're tired and they're beautiful... and they are INCREDIBLY beautiful.

  Lt. Cmdr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D. : Are they, Jim? Are they actually more lovely, pound for pound, measurement per measurement, than any other women you've known, or is it that they just... well, ACT beautiful? No, strike that. Strike that.

  Captain James T. Kirk : What are they, Bones?

  Lt. Cmdr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D. : You mean are they alien illusions? That sort of thing?

  Captain James T. Kirk : I asked you first.

  Lt. Cmdr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D. : No. An alien smart enough to pull this would be smart enough to keep my medical scanner from going "BLEEP."

  Captain James T. Kirk : I don't follow you.

  Lt. Cmdr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D. : I don't either.

• [last lines] 

  Starfleet Officer : Out of orbit, Sir.

  Captain James T. Kirk : Ahead, full.

  Starfleet Officer : Ahead, full, Sir.

• [first lines] 

  Captain James T. Kirk : Captain's log: Stardate 1329.8. The USS Enterprise in pursuit of an unidentified vessel.