Spaced (TV Series)

Epiphanies (1999)

Simon Pegg: Tim Bisley

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tim : So, what did you do last night?

  Tyres : [gets up]  Last night? Last night was an A1, tip-top, clubbing jam fair. It was a sandwich of fun on ecstasy bread, wrapped up in a big bag like disco fudge. It doesn't get much better than that. I just wish sometimes I could control these FUCKING MOOD SWINGS!

  [suddenly he's sitting down again] 

  Tyres : So, what did youse two, uh, friends do last night?

• Twist : Where's Brian?

  Daisy : Yeah, Tim, where's Brian?

  Tim : Up his own arse.

  Twist : You don't like him?

  Tim : I do like him, I'm just not sure why.

• Tyres : I can't get me head around this platonic inter-gender relationship malarkey, it just doesn't seem right to me. Don't get me wrong like, I don't mind having a chin-wag with a honey, but I just like to do it after a waggle on her chin, you know what I mean?

  Tim : [laughs]  Yeah.

  Daisy : [slightly offended]  You like to waggle your willy on her chin?

  Tyres : Don't come your post-feminist, art school bollocks with me, Sunflower, if that's your real frigging name! All right? I work for a living, what do you do?

  Daisy : I write, actually.

  Tyres : Oh, do you? In other words, you're on the dole.

• [Tim and Daisy are listening to Marsha and her teenage daughter Amber having a row above them] 

  Daisy : [voiceover]  Oh, I feel for Amber.

  [cutaway - Daisy imagines a moody teenage girl writing "I HATE YOU" on a mirror in lipstick as grunge music plays] 

  Tim : [voiceover]  I feel for Amber.

  [Tim's voiceover does a dirty laugh as, cutaway - he imagines a nymphet in a slutty school uniform dancing to 'Because We Want To' by Billie Piper] 

• Tim : [on the phone]  What you doing playing army on a Sunday morning, you're missing Grange Hill.

  Mike : [on the other end of the phone]  The TA is no game, Tim.

  Tim : It isn't the TA, Mike, it's the Rough Ramblers.

  Mike : You're a civilian, you don't understand. You're thinking, "It's Sunday I'd rather be in bed."

  Tim : And you're thinking, "It's Sunday, I'd rather be in Apocalypse Now."

• Brian : I'm working, Tim. Working. Do you understand?

  Tim : No, sorry. Got me there.

  Brian : Trying to... avoid... clichés... by not actually placing my brush on the canvas.

  Tim : Wow. Right.

  Brian : I'm using my penis.

  Tim : Finally.

  Brian : Do you want to see?

  Tim : No, I'm just about to have my tea.

• Tyres : [speaks very fast in a Northern Irish accent]  Is it OK if I bring the bike in? It's just I've seen your landlady's curtains twitching, she's got the look of a bike thief about her.

  Tim : What, aging female divorcee? What's she going to do, sell it to buy Jacob's Creek?

  Tyres : Don't get sarky with me, mate! That bike's my living - not like you, pretending to be some struggling cartoonist, poncing off the state while decent taxpayers like me fund your drink problem. I wouldn't mind so much, but you seem to be having such a shit time!