- [last lines]
- Narrator: And they all lived happily ever after.
- Narrator: Except for Kyle who died of aids two weeks later.
- Kyle Broflovski: Goddamnit Cartman!
- Woodland critters: [singing] What special time, what special place! / It's Woodland Critter Christmas!
- Squirrely the Squirrel: Hail, Satan!
- Squirrely the Squirrel: The critter Antichrist is born, bringin' a thousand years of darkness to the forest.
- The Anti-Christ: [makes growling sounds and starts a fit]
- Beavery the Beaver: Hey look, there's Santa Claus!
- Woodland critters: Yay!
- Raccoony the Raccoon: Let's eat his flesh!