South Park (TV Series)

Volcano (1997)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Ned Gerblanski, Randy Marsh, Johnson, News Reporter, Crowd Member, Officer Barbrady, 'You and Lava' Presenter, Volcano Onlooker #1, Patrick Duffy, Mr. Garrison, Scuzzlebutt

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Describing "Scuzzlebutt."] 

  Cartman : And he walks with a limp, because one of his legs is missing. And where his leg should be, there's nothing but... Patrick Duffy.

• Jimbo : Look, It's Scuzzlebutt.

  Cartman : What, Scuzzlebutt's REAL?

  Patrick Duffy : Hello kids, I'm TV's Patrick Duffy.

• Stan Marsh : I don't want to shoot the bunny.

  Jimbo : What the hell are you talking about, you don't want to shoot the bunny? You're babbling, you're not making any sense, you're hysterical!

• Stan : My uncle Jimbo says that after this, he's gonna take me hunting in Africa.

  Kyle : Wow. That'd be cool.

  Cartman : My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa.

• Officer Barbrady : All right people. The mayor wanted everyone to see this educational film. So please try to pay attention, okay?

  Voiceover : This is Jenny. She and her family are having a picnic at the foot of a volcano. Oh no. The volcano has erupted. What do you do now, Jenny? That's right, duck and cover. What do you do, Jenny? Duck and cover. DUCK AND COVER!

  Officer Barbrady : Any questions?

  Chef : That has got to be the biggest load of pig crap I have *ever* seen.

  Officer Barbrady : That's enough of you!

• Johnson : [over the intercom]  Mayor, the geologist is here to see you.

  Mayor McDaniels : My geologist? Now? Tell him the infection is fine and I don't need another check-up!

  Johnson : No, mayor, that's a gynecologist. A geologist studies the earth.

  Mayor McDaniels : Don't you think I know that? How dare you insult my intellect? I went to Princeton for God's sake! You get out of my office!

  Johnson : I'm not in your office mayor, I'm talking to you through a speaker.

  Mayor McDaniels : [after a long pause]  Just send in the geologist.

• Kyle : Wanna know what I think?

  Stan : What?

  [Kyle farts] 

• Stan Marsh : My Uncle Jimbo says we gotta get up there early. Right Uncle Jimbo?

  Jimbo : That's right, Stanley. Animals are much easier to shoot in the morning.