The Sopranos (TV Series)
Watching Too Much Television (2002)
Peter Riegert: Assemblyman Zellman
Photos
Quotes
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Maurice Tiffen : [after receiving their share of the profits from the HUD scam from Silvio, referring to their financial disagreement] Listen, I've been wanting to say this: no hard feelings, huh?
Assemblyman Zellman : No, of course not
Maurice Tiffen : You sure you're alright?
Assemblyman Zellman : I'm fine
Maurice Tiffen : You're just being... awfully quiet
Assemblyman Zellman : I don't know, tired
Assemblyman Zellman : [while they leave The Bada Bing strip club] You ever feel bad about any of this?
Maurice Tiffen : What'd you mean?
Assemblyman Zellman : When I think about when we started out...
Maurice Tiffen : [amused, interrupts him] You know I used to think what I did made a difference: the anti-drug programs, the voter drives, but over the years, it's like "shoving shit against the tide", you know that?
Assemblyman Zellman : I guess
Maurice Tiffen : Yeah, you cut corners but you help out: do the best you can. Hey, if it ain't us, it's gonna be somebody else. Really, I mean, what're we supposed to be? The only "honest men?"
Assemblyman Zellman : We were gonna lead a "revolution"
Maurice Tiffen : [amused] Revolution? The revolution got sold
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Assemblyman Zellman : you remember that time in Atlantic City? You brought your old girlfriend?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : yeah, the cystic fibrosis fundraiser
Assemblyman Zellman : this is awkward, Irina and I are seeing each other
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : what? Your fuckin kidding me
Assemblyman Zellman : I met her that night at the fundraiser, I gave her my card: she was having some problem with the landlord. She called me months later when you two broke it off and one thing led to another
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : alright, alright, take it easy, it's "ancient history"
Assemblyman Zellman : still, I've been meaning to tell you, I feel like I owe you an explanation
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : what am I? Her father? Your both adults, enjoy yourself
Assemblyman Zellman : it's more than that: I care for her, very deeply, Roz and I are separated. "The heart wants what the heart wants" I guess
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [dismissively] the heart wants what the dick wants
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Assemblyman Zellman : [after Tony shows up at his home unexpectedly] hey, come on in. You know, it really would've been "better" if we met over at Denny's
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : what're you worried about? I was in the neighborhood
Assemblyman Zellman : so, what's up? Can I get you something? Scotch, right?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [referring to repairing to the houses their buying for a scam] I sent some of my guys to start "gutting" the place: it turns out one of the houses is a crack den
Assemblyman Zellman : so?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : what, so? We gotta get them outta there
Assemblyman Zellman : [referring to Tony's crew] why don't your guys' just "rouse" them?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [sarcastically] oh, nice, a bunch of white guys setting off "caps" in the ghetto: that won't attract any attention at all
Assemblyman Zellman : what'd you want me to do?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : assert some "influence", make some calls. Get the donut squad to "rouse" the shitbags
Assemblyman Zellman : it's not that easy. When you're dealing with squatters' "rights" or anything to do with the homeless for that matter, it can get very tricky
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I saw them myself: they're a bunch of fuckin crackheads
Assemblyman Zellman : I understand, their "gumming" up the works. Try to see the "big picture", the HUD approval came through. In two weeks, we can be looking at a huge "windfall"
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : see, that's why you're a politician and not a business man. Maximum value" is the "big picture." There must be seven thousand dollars in copper pipe in there, if they haven't taken it out already
Assemblyman Zellman : [confused] I still don't know what you expect me to do about it?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [referring to his share of the profits] ok, alright. We'll take the 7k out of your end?
Assemblyman Zellman : well no...
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [pats him on the cheek before leaving, referring to Zellman's alma mater, implying he should be intelligent enough to think of a solution] come on, University of Michigan, fuckin figure it out
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Assemblyman Zellman : [while in Maurice's den] The fact is, these people are criminals: their drug addicts and dealers who've been occupying that house illegally
Maurice Tiffen : [referring to Dr. Ira Freid] What about the police? Get the seller, what's his name? The urologist? Get him to make the call
Assemblyman Zellman : [irritated] Their crack addicts: they'll be back in two hours
Maurice Tiffen : [referring to the real estate scam their involved in with Tony and Ralphie] The deal was for me to effectuate the purchase of the houses: period
Assemblyman Zellman : I realize that
Maurice Tiffen : Nobody mentioned anything about violence, we renounced it, remember?
Assemblyman Zellman : I'm in a "bind" here
Maurice Tiffen : I appreciate that, but what'd you expect me to do?
Assemblyman Zellman : Get some of your "people" to handle it
Maurice Tiffen : [confused] what "people"?
Assemblyman Zellman : Well, we can't send whites in there: people of color. You run a youth outreach program, don't you?
Maurice Tiffen : I'm on the board
Assemblyman Zellman : Fine, I understand that. How about you take the seven thousand this is costing, out of your end, then?
Maurice Tiffen : Oh, come on, you know what I pay in child support to my first wife? The chances I'm taking with this thing, I'm putting it all on the line if I get caught
Assemblyman Zellman : So, you get some kids, gangbangers, whatever: you throw them some money. When you think about it, from a policing standpoint, it's just one group of recidivists beating on another
Maurice Tiffen : Stop trying to justify it, it's about the seven grand
Assemblyman Zellman : [before putting his coat and leaving] Let me tell you something else, guys like Tony, you don't fool around with these people
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Assemblyman Zellman : [while in the sauna room] summer of sixty-seven we're both home on break. I was interning at the state legislature, what were you doing?
Maurice Tiffen : East Newark Co-op
Assemblyman Zellman : Right but come July
Tony Soprano : The Newark riots
Ralph Cifaretto : What a fuckin summer that was
Assemblyman Zellman : Later that year Maurice and I have to organize one of the first all black voting drives
Tony Soprano : Maurice, were you around for Anthony Imperiale? The "white knight"?
Maurice Tiffen : Around? Who do you think he was fighting against?
Assemblyman Zellman : Italian pride "keep Newark white"
Maurice Tiffen : Spying Klansman: some of those boys
Ralph Cifaretto : So, this group you got now, the Urban Housing League, what's the story there?
Maurice Tiffen : Like many non-profits, we've fallen on hard times. Republican administration plus proliferation of new charities post 9/11
Tony Soprano : Sounds like you three got a lot to talk about. I'm going to hit the showers. Maurice: nice meeting ya
Maurice Tiffen : Same here
Assemblyman Zellman : I took the liberty of filling in Maurice on the broad strokes
Ralph Cifaretto : Ok we got a guy Dr. Fried, his an Urologist. We're going to give him half a million of our money, have him grab these four houses on Garside Street for a hundred and twenty-five a piece
Maurice Tiffen : The old first ward
Ralph Cifaretto : Once we own the houses we got an appraiser who'll "play ball" and his going to appraise them in the three hundred thousand dollar range. What you do Maurice is you take the phony appraisals to HUD tell them the Urban Housing League will buy these shit holes and convert them into low cost housing for working families
Ralph Cifaretto : Once HUD guarantees the mortgage app you take it to the bank, they cut a check and we work it up nice
Maurice Tiffen : At which I assume my organization fails to make the mortgage payments
Assemblyman Zellman : Unforeseen construction delays and repeated vandalism forced the project into disillusion. We all walk away from the houses
Ralph Cifaretto : Your cut will be in the ten percent of the profit range
Assemblyman Zellman : My office will write a letter in strong support of your application
Maurice Tiffen : Sounds about right