The Simpsons (TV Series)

Treehouse of Horror IV (1993)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Vampire Bart is about to bite Lisa] 

  Homer Simpson : Bart! How many times have I told you not to bite your sis-

  [gasps, and pulls Lisa away from him] 

  Homer Simpson : Wait a minute! You ARE a vampire!

  Grampa Simpson : [bursts into the room with a mallet and wooden stake]  Quick! We have to kill the boy!

  Marge Simpson : How'd you know he was a vampire?

  Grampa Simpson : He's a vampire? AHHH!

  [runs off] 

• Marge Simpson : [Homer's Head is turned into a huge donut, and is eating it]  Homer, stop picking at it.

  Homer Simpson : But, I'm so sweet and tasty.

  [Looks at his watch] 

  Homer Simpson : Well, time to go to work.

  Lisa Simpson : [Getting in Homer's way]  No dad. I wouln't go outside if I were you.

  Chief Wiggum : [With the rest of Springfield's police force waiting outside of the Simpson's home with their coffee mugs]  Don't worry, boys, he's gotta come outta there sometime.

• Marge Simpson : Homer, we gotta do something. Today he's drinking people's blood, tomorrow he could be smoking!

• Bart Simpson : Paintings... lifeless images rendered in colorful goop. But at night, they take on a life of their own. They become portals to Hell so scary and horrible and gruesome that...!

  Marge Simpson : Bart! You should warn people that this episode is very frightening. Maybe they'd rather listen to that old "War of the Worlds" broadcast on NPR, hmm?

  Bart Simpson : Yes, Mother.

• Marge : Wait! Before you send him to hell, there's something you should see. That's a photo of Homer and I at our wedding.

  Richard Nixon : Wait a minute. You got married in an emergency room?

  Marge : Well, Homer ate the entire wedding cake by himself... before the wedding.

  [the Jury of the Damned all laugh] 

  Marge : Read the back, the back.

  Blackbeard : Arrr! 'Tis some sort of treasure map.

  Benedict Arnold : [snatches it away]  You idiot, you can't read!

  Blackbeard : Aye, 'tis true. My debauchery was my way of compensatin'.

• Lisa Simpson : Grampa's a vampire?

  Bart Simpson : We're all vampires.

  [Bart, Homer, Marge, and Maggie all float into the air, baring their fangs as Lisa backs away in horror] 

  Lisa Simpson : But... no! We killed Mr. Burns!

  Homer Simpson : You have to kill the *head* vampire?

  Lisa Simpson : [gasp]  You're the head vampire?

  Marge Simpson : No, *I'm* the head vampire!

  [She laughs demonically] 

  Lisa Simpson : Mom?

  Marge Simpson : [normal voice]  Well, I do have a life outside this house, you know.

• Marge : Bart, stop pestering Satan.

• Lionel Hutz : Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.

  Marge : But we did win.

  Lionel Hutz : That's okay. The box is empty.

• Lisa Simpson : Mom, there's something fishy about this whole set up.

  Marge Simpson : Lisa, stop being so suspicious. Did everyone wash their necks like Mr. Burns asked?

• [Marge has to find seats for the Jury of the Damned] 

  Marge : I'm sorry, Mr. Blackbeard. We're low on chairs and this is the last one.

  Blackbeard : Arrr! This chair be high, says I.