The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Springfield Files (1997)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson

Quotes 

• Marge Simpson : Have you been drinking?

  Homer : No! Well, ten beers.

• Homer : Oh, Marge, I never felt so alone. No one believes me.

  [pause] 

  Homer : Uh, this is the part where you're supposed to say, "I believe you, Homer."

  Marge Simpson : I don't believe you, Homer.

  Homer : You do? Oh, Marge, you've made me so happy.

  Marge Simpson : You're not listening. You're only hearing what you want to hear.

  Homer : Thanks! I'd love an omelet right about now.

• Homer : Take a look at this, Lisa. You don't see any "Homer is a dope" T-shirts, do you?

  Sarcastic worker : We sold those out in five minutes.

  Homer : D'oh!

  [seeing Marge and Maggie wearing one] 

  Homer : Marge, how could you?

  Marge Simpson : These shirts are 100% cotton, and look at the fine stitching on "dope".

  Homer : [to the vendor]  I'll take two.

• Lisa : Dad, according to "Junior Skeptic Magazine", the chances are 175 million to 1 of another form of life actually coming in contact with ours.

  Homer : So?

  Lisa : It's just that the people who claim they've seen aliens are always pathetic lowlifes with boring jobs. Oh, and you, dad.

  [she chuckles nervously] 

  Bart Simpson : [coming in with a Super Soaker, improvised antennae on a helmet, and droopy-eye spring glasses]  I am the thing from Uranus.

  Homer : [whimpering, then realizing]  Oh, it's Bart. I can't believe it. I'm being mocked by my own children. On my birthday.

  Bart Simpson : It's your birthday?

  Homer : Yes. Remember? It's the same day as the dog's.

  Lisa : [the family begins cuddling and petting the dog]  Santa's Little Helper, it's your birthday? Ooh, we've got to get you a present. Yes, we do. Yes, we do.

  Bart Simpson : We love you, boy.

  Marge Simpson : Good doggy. Good doggy.

  Homer : [muttering under his breath]  Lousy, loveable dog.

• Homer : I'm telling you, I saw a creature from another planet.

  Lisa : Maybe you just dreamed it.

  Homer : Oh, yeah? Well, when I came to, I was covered with a sticky, translucent goo. Explain that.

  Marge Simpson : [serving breakfast]  More sausage?

  [he begins drooling] 

• Marge Simpson : Hello. Can I help you?

  Mulder : [showing their badges]  Agents Mulder and Scully, FBI.

  Marge Simpson : [gasping]  I-Is this about that pen that I took from the post office? I-I swear, I didn't know I put it in my purse. Then I was going to bring it back, but the dog chewed it up, and that just made things worse.

  [she begins hyperventilating] 

  Scully : Actually, we're here to see your husband about his UFO encounter.

  Marge Simpson : [still trying to catch her breath]  Oh... come... come in.

• Homer : I refuse to share a bed with someone who thinks I'm crazy. Unless you're feeling amorous.

  [playful growl] 

  Marge Simpson : [trying to get to sleep]  No, I'm not.

  Homer : [getting out of bed]  Well, then, good night.