The Simpsons (TV Series)

The President Wore Pearls (2003)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson

Quotes 

• Marge Simpson : Lisa, you look so successful. Like you're the wife of a businessman.

  Homer Simpson : I wish I married a businessman. Then I'd have nice things.

• Principal Skinner : [the striking students chant a "2, 4, 6, 8"-ish rhyme]  Why didn't I cancel Sign-Making and Creative Chanting?

  Marge Simpson : Principal Skinner, can't you just reinstate those programs?

  Principal Skinner : Would you be willing to pay an extra $1.23 in taxes to fund them?

  Homer Simpson : No way! I'm saving for a speedboat.

• Marge Simpson : Lisa, what are you doing? This is the kind of trouble-making I expect from your brother.

  Bart : You do? Cool, a blank check for mayhem.

  [picking up a brick, he throws it at a school window; it rebounds and hits him in the head, knocking him out] 

  Lisa : Mom, I was elected to make this a better school.

  Marge Simpson : Well, couldn't you just hang some colorful crepe paper in the gym?

  Lisa : They've taken away our crepe paper.

  Marge Simpson : Those fuddruckers!

  [police cars pull up, a siren whooping] 

  Marge Simpson : Oh, no, they heard me.

• Homer Simpson : I'll put everything on lucky 17.

  [Lisa spins her prize wheel] 

  Homer Simpson : D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Whoo-hoo!

  [as the wheel slows down] 

  Homer Simpson : D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Whoo-hoo! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'ooooh!

  [the wheel lands on 17] 

  Homer Simpson : Whoo-hoo!

  Lisa : And the winner is... 17!

  Homer Simpson : I win!

  [hugging Marge] 

  Homer Simpson : This is it, baby. First thing tomorrow, we're getting a PlayStation One!

  Marge Simpson : Ooh!

• Lisa : I can't beat Nelson.

  Homer Simpson : Why don't you start a rumor that he's... ding-a-ling-a-ling!

  [in a high-pitched falsetto, sing-songy voice] 

  Homer Simpson : Hello! Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, what a delicious quiche! I drive a pink Miata.

  Lisa : I can't believe Nelson is more popular than me.

  [Homer prances around the front yard, humming] 

  Marge Simpson : Honey, you can be popular. You've just got to be yourself... in a whole new way.

  Lisa : No, I'm gonna stick to my platform of incremental policy amelioration: fluoridated water fountains, vegan lunch options...

  Homer Simpson : [coming back in wearing a tutu, lisping]  "My name is Nelson! I use a thalad fork. La-dee-dah! I wash my face."

  Marge Simpson : Where did you get that tutu?

  Homer Simpson : Clothesline.

• Homer Simpson : Oh, boy, Casino Night! Finally, they'll teach our kids the dangers of doubling down on a six.

  Marge Simpson : I really shouldn't be here; I have a problem with games of chance. I played Candyland with Maggie and ended up throwing vodka in her face.

  Homer Simpson : Aw, Marge, I bet you've gotten that out of your system.

  Marge Simpson : Bet... system... betting system! God is telling me to gamble!

  [pushing her way through, she goes to Ralph Wiggum's blackjack table] 

  Marge Simpson : Deal! Hit me! Hit me! Hit me! Busted! Mmm.

  [she throws a martini in his face] 

• Lisa : I think I can say with all humility, I am going to be the best school president ever.

  Bart : [clapping, sarcastic]  Bravo, Lisa. Bravo.

  Marge Simpson : Oh, isn't that sweet? Even your brother's adding his kudos.

  Bart : I was being sarcastic.

  Marge Simpson : You were?

  Bart : [with heavy sarcasm]  No, I was being sincere.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, I'm so confused.

  Bart : Lise, Skinner is using you, like a pawn on his unholy chess set.

  Homer Simpson : On my chess set, the pawns are all Hamburglars.

• Lisa : And then, as school president, I don't have to take the hearing test.

  Marge Simpson : I'm so proud of you, Lisa.

  Lisa : [holding a hand to her ear]  What?

  Marge Simpson : You're like Geraldine Ferraro, except you won where she failed miserably.