The Simpsons (TV Series)
The Last Temptation of Krusty (1998)
Jay Leno: Jay Leno
Quotes
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Reporter : [When Krusty announces his retirement from show business] But, Krusty, why now? Why not 20 years ago?
Krusty the Clown : 'Cause comedy ain't funny anymore. Instead of time-tested jokes about women drivers and doctor bills, you got some big-chin schlub reading typos from the Palookaville Post. Well, here's a headline for you: "Nobody cares."
[Everyone laughs]
Jay Leno : Hey, I washed your hair.
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Bart Simpson : [to Jay Leno] Anyway, don't you have some advice for Krusty?
Jay Leno : Well, these days, people like observational humor about things they deal with in everyday life.
Krusty the Clown : Oh, yeah. You mean like when your lazy butler washes your sock garters and they're still covered with schmutz?
Jay Leno : Well, kind of, but more universal. And maybe lose the "me so solly" bit.
Bart Simpson : Hey, whoa, whoa. Let's not tamper with a classic.
Krusty the Clown : Shut up, kid. Come on, Leno. Tamper, teach, impart.
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Krusty the Clown : [When Bart and Jay Leno are giving Krusty a bath and washing his hair] Jay, you're a professional comedian, right? Right? Answer me!
Jay Leno : Yes! Now stop squirming. I'm trying to get these tangles out.
Bart : They are just impossible.
[Jay Leno gives him a look]
Bart : Well, they are.