The Simpsons (TV Series)
Stark Raving Dad (1991)
Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Kearney, 'He's white!'
Photos
Quotes
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[Homer is calling home from a mental institution]
Bart : Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em.
Homer : Boy, when I get home, I'm gonna wrap my hands around your neck and...
[noticing the orderlies glaring at him, he relents]
Homer : ...smother you with kisses.
Bart : Homer, whatever they've got you on, cut the dose.
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Bart : [singing] Lisa, her teeth are big and green. Lisa, she smells like gasoline. Lisa, ta-ra-ra Lisa. She is my sista, her birthday I mista.
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Homer Simpson : Who stole my shirt? Who stole my shirt?
Marge : I washed it.
Homer Simpson : Oh, thank you Marge.
[Homer saw his pink shirt from the laundry basket]
Homer Simpson : Aaaah! Pink? Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different.
Marge : Now Homer don't panic, you have plenty of white shirts.
Homer Simpson : [Homer grabs all of his pink shirts] Oh gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, oh no pink? pink? Pink!
[Homer sobs]
Homer Simpson : It's all over, Marge! It's all over!
[Homer continues to sob]
Marge : [Marge grabs Homer's pink underwear] I don't know how this could have happened?
Bart : [Bart grabs his red hat] Ah, my lucky red hat. Clean as a whistle.
Homer Simpson : [Homer saw Bart and his red hat from Homer's pink shirts] You! You did this to me!
Bart : [Bart getting strangled by Homer] I... apologize!
Marge : Oh, please. No one's going to notice if you wear a pink shirt to work.
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[answering the phone]
Bart : Joe's Crematorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em.
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Leon Kompowsky : You know Bart, when I was growing up I didn't have much money. So you know what I did every time my sisters' birthdays rolled around?
Bart : Stiffed them?
Leon Kompowsky : No Bart, I wrote them a song to show them I cared.
Bart : I can't write a song! I'm only ten.
Leon Kompowsky : *Only* ten?, When I was your age, I had six Gold Records.
Bart : Hey, Looney Tunes...
[pulls out the "Thriller" album]
Bart : *this* is what Michael Jackson looks like! You just look like a big, fat mental patient!
Leon Kompowsky : You'd be amazed how often I hear that, Bart.
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Bart : [Homer gives a mental health questionnaire he's supposed to complete to Bart] Dad, maybe you should fill out this form.
Homer : Son, it's no different than the time I let you vote for me. Remember that absentee ballot?
Bart : Oh, yeah!
[Homer quickly gets absorbed in a "funniest home videos" show on the TV]
Bart : Hey, Dad, do you hear voices...?
Homer : [annoyed] Yes, I'm hearing one now, while I'm trying to watch TV!
Bart : [checks] "Yes." Are you quick to anger...?
Homer : [angrily and raises his fist] BART! Shut up or I'll shut you up!
Bart : [checks] "Yes." Do you wet your pants...? Well, even the best of us has an occasional accident.
[he proceeds to check "yes" for all remaining questions]
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Bart : [Lisa wakes up Bart] Lisa, it's 6 a.m., what's wrong? Dad died?
Lisa Simpson : No, no, no, he's fine.
Bart : Whaddya know, I'm relieved!
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Leon Kompowsky : [In his real voice] Well, my work is done here.
Bart : Hey, Michael, what happened to your voice?
Leon Kompowsky : This is my real voice. My name is Leon Kompowski, and I'm a bricklayer from Paterson, New Jersey. All my life, I was very angry. Until one day, I just
[In Michael Jackson voice]
Leon Kompowsky : talked like this.
[in his normal voice]
Leon Kompowsky : All of a sudden, everyone was smiling at me, and I was only doing good on this earth. So I kept on doing it. To make a tired point, which one of us is truly crazy?
Homer : Not me, I've got this!
[shows his certificate showing he is Not Insane]
