"The Simpsons" Separate Vocations (TV Episode 1992) - Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson, Ralph Wiggum, Kearney, Panicking Teacher #1

Bart Simpson : Wow! Can I see your club?

Lou : It's called a baton, son.

Bart Simpson : Oh. What's it for?

Lou : We club people with it.
Principal Skinner : How would you like to be a hall monitor?

Bart Simpson : Wouldn't that mean squealing on other kids?

Principal Skinner : That's the meat of it.

Bart Simpson : Hmm...

[in Bart's daydream, he is testifying in a murder trial, his face and voice electronically disguised]

Prosecutor : Now, Witness X would you please tell the court what you saw?

Bart's Electronically Altered Voice : I'd be more than happy to. I saw Mr. Montone there seal Mr. Palaccio in an oil drum and roll him off the pier.

Mr. Montone : [pulls a knife] I kill you!

[he lunges toward the witness stand and grabs Bart]

Bart's Electronically Altered Voice : Ay, caramba!

[back in reality]

Bart Simpson : ...I don't know.
Lisa : Bart, why did you take the blame?

Bart Simpson : Because I didn't want you to wreck your life. You got the brains and the talent to go as far as you want. And when you do, I'll be right there to borrow money.
Bart Simpson : Hey - I don't need you to get me into the back of a police car.

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Ralph Wiggum, Kearney, Panicking Teacher #1