The Simpsons (TV Series)

Little Girl in the Big Ten (2002)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : What the...? You earned how many credits without our permission?

  Lisa : 16.

  Marge Simpson : [Homer lets out an anguished cry]  College is no place for a young girl, with those quadrangles, and study carrels, and syllabi...

  Lisa : Doogie Howser went to college when he was my age.

  Homer Simpson : Against my wishes!

  Lisa : But the atmosphere there was so stimulating. It was a bustling marketplace of ideas.

  Marge Simpson : Oh? And this kitchen isn't?

  Lisa : Well...

  Marge Simpson : I put those "Cathys" on the fridge for you. I don't even like them. They've gotten so smutty.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, sure, when a man does it, it's smutty. But if a woman did it...

  Marge Simpson : Homer, Cathy is a woman.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, come on.

  [going to the fridge and giving the strips a glance] 

  Homer Simpson : You're right.

  [he shudders] 

• Lugash : [watching one of his students]  Okay... for next exercise, put hands on hips, jump out window, and go tell parents to STOP WASTING MY TIME WITH FAILURE CHILD!

  [bawling, she runs towards the door] 

  Lugash : Faster! Lift your knees!

  Marge Simpson : Look, Lisa, there's an opening.

  Lisa : Who wants to put on a leotard and get screamed at?

  Homer Simpson : Well, hookers and Spider-Man.

  Lisa : Forget it. I'm going home.

• Marge Simpson : Bart, don't slurp your soup.

  Bart Simpson : My bubble, my rules.

  Homer Simpson : That's it, boy. It's time for your bath.

  [opening the bubble, he uses a garden hose to fill it with water] 

  Homer Simpson : Now go to bed.

  [rolling Bart down the hall] 

  Homer Simpson : That is called parenting. I'm going to Moe's.

• Dr. Hibbert : [inspecting Bart's mosquito bite]  Hmm... now, you're sure you haven't been to China? There's no shame in it.

  Bart Simpson : No. I told you. A mosquito came out of my Laffy Meal and bit me.

  Marge Simpson : What's wrong with him, Doctor? It can't be mange. I just had him dipped.

  Dr. Hibbert : Your son is exhibiting classic symptoms of Panda Virus. Here, take a look.

  [as he gives her a magnifying glass, he shows her that Bart's bite looks like a miniature panda] 

  Marge Simpson : I knew it was serious when he said he didn't want ice cream.

  Bart Simpson : I did want ice cream.

  Marge Simpson : Well, your father ate it all.

  Dr. Hibbert : Now, don't worry. These pills will take care of everything. But for a week, Bart will be highly infectious to others.

  Bart Simpson : Contagious? Outrageous! I got me some teachers to lick.

  Dr. Hibbert : [chuckling]  Well, I don't know about that, but don't worry. While you're infectious, you will lead a normal life full of normal social interaction.

  Bart Simpson : I don't like how many times you said "normal".

  Dr. Hibbert : You'll be living in this bubble. It's clear plastic so the world can see how normal you are.