The Simpsons (TV Series)

Lisa's Pony (1991)

Harry Shearer: Principal Skinner, Jerry, Bleeding Gums Murphy, Phineas Q. Butterfat's Clerk, Mr. Roarke, Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers, Ned Flanders, Johnny Carson

Quotes 

• [Homer goes to the plant credit union to get a loan to buy Lisa a pony] 

  Homer : Uh, I'd like to borrow $5,000.

  Bank Clerk : Sorry, I can't approve a loan that size myself.

  [she walks off; Mr. Burns and Smithers appear] 

  Mr. Burns : Hello.

  Homer : Aah!

  Mr. Burns : Simpson, eh? How can I help you?

  Homer : Mr. Burns, you do this personally?

  Mr. Burns : Oh, it's a hobby. I'm not in this for any personal gain, heavens no! By the way, are you acquainted with our state's stringent usury laws?

  Homer : Us-ury?

  Mr. Burns : Oh, silly me! I must have just made up a word that doesn't exist. Now, what is the purpose of this loan?

  Homer : I want to buy a pony.

  Mr. Burns : Isn't that cute! Smithers, he's planning on joining the horsey set!

  [lowers voice] 

  Mr. Burns : That is it, isn't it? You're not planning to eat it?

  Homer : No, I need to get it for my little girl because she doesn't love me any more...

  Smithers : Shut up, Simpson.

  Homer : Sorry.

  Smithers : Do you have any collateral?

  Mr. Burns : Oh Smithers, let's not be so cold. His spirit is my collateral. Just sign this form, and the money will be yours.

  Mr. Burns : [as Homer begins to sign, Burns starts laughing evilly] 

  Mr. Burns : Sorry, I was just, um, thinking of something funny Smithers did today.

  Smithers : I didn't do anything funny, sir.

  Mr. Burns : [whispering]  Shut up!

• Johnny Carson : I just heard Milli Vanilli was arrested for impersonating a McNugget.

  Ed McMahon : Ho ho ho ho!

  Bart : Well, it's still fun to be up late.