The Simpsons (TV Series)

Kill the Alligator and Run (2000)

Robert Evans: Robert Evans

Quotes 

• Charlie Rose : [as Homer is watching "Charlie Rose" on TV late at night]  We're back with legendary producer Robert Evans. Now before you did "The Godfather," there was "Love Story." Tell us about that.

  Robert Evans : Ah, "Love Story." The little picture that could. Was Paramount chomping at the bit to make it? Heh, heh, you better believe they weren't. But once that tear-jerker hit John Q. Popcorn, it was boffo boo-hoo box office all the way.

  Charlie Rose : And the critics loved it too. I remember Vincent Canby said, "I'm gonna kill you, Homer. You are so dead."

  [Homer screams] 

  Charlie Rose : Now "Chinatown" was a classic, but you had problems with the sequel, "The Two Jakes"?

  Robert Evans : Oh, boy. Disappointed? I had the blues like Chasen's had chilli. I said to myself, "Evans, you forgot Hollywood rule #1: "Kill Homer Simpson."

  [Homer screams and cowers under a blanket] 

• Bart Simpson : [When Marge, Bart and Lisa come downstairs after hearing Homer's screaming]  Hey, what's all the screaming?

  Lisa : Some of us have grammar school in the morning, you know.

  Marge Simpson : Maybe you should see a doctor, Homie. A head doctor.

  Homer Simpson : I'm not crazy. It's the TV that's crazy!

  [points to the TV] 

  Homer Simpson : Aren't you, TV?

  Robert Evans : [on TV]  The crisis? Charlie Bludorn's birthday. The solution? A snappy banner. Out comes the phone, in flies Bobby Towne and six drafts later, I had myself a party.

  Homer Simpson : You see? Gibberish. All gibberish.