The Simpsons (TV Series)

Kamp Krusty (1992)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Mother, Kearney, Ralph Wiggum

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lisa : I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart.

  Bart : We're all gonna die, Lis.

  Lisa : I meant soon.

  Bart : So did I.

• Bart : That's Not Krusty the Klown!

  Mr. Black : What do you think, I just slapped a clown suit on some wino?

  [laughs weakly] 

  Barney Gumble : Yeah Bart, I am so Crunchy the Clown!

  [belches] 

• Bart : How could you, Krusty? I'd never lend my name to an inferior product.

  Krusty the Clown : [loud sobbing]  Oh! They drove a dump truck full of money up to my house. I'm not made of stone!

• Lisa : [Lisa is entering a canoe, and is in danger of turning over from the river currents]  Uh, are you sure that's safe?

  Kearney : [shrugs]  Well, it ain't getting any safer.

• Bart : This camp was a nightmare. They fed us gruel, forced us to make wallets for export and one of the campers was eaten by a bear!

  Krusty the Clown : Oh, my god!

  Bart : Actually, the bear just ate his hat.

  Krusty the Clown : Was it a nice hat?

  Bart : Oh yeah.

  Krusty the Clown : Oh, my god!

• Bart : All right, that's it! I've been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from those Krusty Brand vitamins, my Krusty calculator didn't have a 7 or an 8, and Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions, but this time he's gone too far! We want Krusty!

  Campers : We want Krusty! We want Krusty!

  Barney Gumble : Yeah, we want Crunchy! We want Crunchy!

• Bart : [sees his report card; pleading]  Mrs. Krabappel, if I don't get at least a "C" average, I can't go to Kamp Krusty!

  Edna Krabappel : Have a "D"-lightful summer!

  [chuckles] 

• Bart : [opening his locker]  Thirty-six, twenty-four, thirty-six. Ha-ha-ha...

• [as the campers begin rioting] 

  Mr. Black : I thought you said you broke their spirits!

  Jimbo Jones : [in rising fear]  We did!

  Mr. Black : [slapping Jimbo across the face]  You broke *nothing*!

  Bart : Let's get 'em!

  Mr. Black : To the hydrofoil!

• [Mr. Black announces Krusty the Klown] 

  Bart : [half-crazed]  See? I told you Krusty would come! Ha-ha! He's gonna bring us food, and water, and smite our enemies!

• Marge Simpson : [looking through Bart's luggage]  Bart, where are your bathing trunks?

  Bart : I'm gonna swim nekkid!

  Marge Simpson : What?

  Bart : Ah, sure, there'll be some uptight counselors there who won't dig the Bart Philosophy. But I believe the human body is a thing of beauty...

  Homer : [enters in his underwear]  Marge, am I crazy, or is my back getting hairier?

• Lisa : [handing out confiscated care packages]  Kowalski!

  Kowalski : My brownies!

  Lisa : Wiggum!

  Ralph Wiggum : A change of underwear!

  Lisa : Crandall!

  Crandall : My insulin!

• [Bart frees the kids from the Kamp Krusty Fat Camp] 

  Bart : My chunky brothers! Gorge yourselves at the trough of freedom!

• Homer : A plus? You don't think much of me, do you boy?

  [looking at Bart's forged report card] 

  Bart : No, sir.

• Marge Simpson : Bart, where's your bathing suit?

  Bart : I'm gonna swim naked.

  Marge Simpson : You're what?

  Bart : Aw, sure, there'll be a couple of up-tight counselors who won't dig the Bart philosophy, but I feel the human body is a thing of beauty.

  [Homer walks into theroom wearing nothing but underwear] 

  Homer : Marge, am I crazy or is my back getting hairier?

• [Kearney is eating the jellybean cookies Marge sent Lisa] 

  Kearney : [to Lisa]  Hey Simpson, tell your mom her cookies suck!