The Simpsons (TV Series)

In Marge We Trust (1997)

Sab Shimono: Mr. Sparkle

Quotes 

• Mr. Sparkle Executive : [heavily accented]  Oh, hello, American investor. I see you are interested in distributing Mr. Sparkle in you home prefecture. You have chosen wisely. But please - don't believe me. Observe this commercial.

  Mr. Sparkle : [begin commercial. A Japanese housewife wearing semi-futuristic clothing loads a dishwasher. She pulls out a whistle, which summons Mr. Sparkle. His head jumps off the Mr. Sparkle box, and floats in mid-air. True to his name, bright sparkles fill the air] 

  Mr. Sparkle : [in Japanese; subtitled]  I'm disrespectful to dirt. Can you see that I am serious?

  Mr. Sparkle : [having no arms or legs, Mr. Sparkle scrubs the dishes clean by rubbing up and down with his head. The housewife is delighted with her clean dinnerware. Mr. Sparkle flies into the next room, where a baby is playing with a toy xylophone. He amuses the child by bouncing on a few keys, and then flies off. In the next scene, he appears deep beneath the ocean, where a trio of dancing women hang out, where else?, on the sea floor]  Out of my way, all of you. This is no place for loafers! Join me or die! Can you do any less?

  Dancing Woman #2 , Dancing Woman #3 , Dancing Woman #1 : What a brave corporate logo! I accept the challenge of Mr. Sparkle.

  Dancing Woman #3 : Awesome power!

  [an inset box appears in the upper left corner of the screen, showing a windup monkey toy banging a drum. Mr. Sparkle demonstrates his awesome power by blowing up a strong wind of heart-shaped symbols. The wind transforms the dancing women into giggling Sumo wrestlers. I am not convinced this is an improvement. Mr. Sparkle then proceeds to fly over a cow pasture. A reporter is interviewing a two-headed cow] 

  Reporter in Commercial : What are your plans for summer vacation?

  Mr. Sparkle : [the cow spots Mr. Sparkle floating overhead, and is so surprised she shatters. Her four eyes hover in mid-air for a second, then fall to the ground and blink. Cut to a screen where Japanese slogans spiral to a vanishing point at the center of the screen. Mr. Sparkle appears at the center and heads toward the camera, rotating in the opposite direction]  For lucky best wash, use Mr. Sparkle.