The Simpsons (TV Series)

How I Spent My Strummer Vacation (2002)

Mick Jagger: Mick Jagger

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mick Jagger : [Homer is reluctant to leave the fantasy camp]  Aw, cheer up, Homer! It's only rock 'n' roll camp.

  Homer : But I like it!

• Mick Jagger : Welcome to Rock N' Roll Fantasy Camp, where you'll experience the complete rock n' roll lifestyle, without the lawsuits and STDs.

  Homer : Whoo! STDs!

  Keith Richards : Now, you're all here for one reason.

  Homer : To rock!

  Keith Richards : [accusingly]  Who said that?

  [Homer quickly points at Otto] 

  Keith Richards : That's right, Otto. We're here to rock!

  Mick Jagger : So, get a good night's sleep, and remember, rule number one, there are no rules.

  [cheers] 

  Mick Jagger : Rule number two, no outside food.

  Chief Wiggum : [disappointed groans]  Aw, what a gyp.

• Homer : I came up with a stage move I feel is very cool.

  [swinging his guitar around by its cord] 

  Homer : Baby, baby, baby, baby...

  [the cord becomes unplugged and the guitar flies out the window] 

  Mick Jagger : [in his office with Keith]  We've got to start using a cheaper oatmeal.

  [the guitar crashes through the window and knocks his adding machine off the desk] 

  Homer : Sorry, Mick!

  Mick Jagger : Simpson!

• Keith Richards : [as Homer improvises a rock song]  What's all this, then?

  Tom Petty : He's stealing the show from us.

  Mick Jagger : Not on my shift.

  [it's revealed he's on top of the Satan head prop] 

  Mick Jagger : Let's rock and roll.

• Mick Jagger : There's no excuse for our horrible behavior tonight, Homer.

  Elvis Costello : We acted like a bunch of angry young men.

  Lenny Kravitz : Yeah, rock 'n' roll is supposed to be about peace and love.

  Brian Setzer : I hope you won't judge the entire Brian Setzer Orchestra by my actions.

  Tom Petty : [with his foot bandaged]  What we're trying to say, Homer, is we're sorry. By the way, I don't suppose any of you have seen my, um...

  Lisa : No. Sorry.

• Homer : [finishing a performance and stage-diving onto the counselors]  Well, what do you think?

  Mick Jagger : Uh... you rock, Homer.

  Homer : Really? You really think I'm better than you?

• Homer : You're rock stars. You're supposed to be reckless and destructive and be celebrated for behavior that would land normal people in jail.

  Keith Richards : That's what I told 'em, Homer. But just the same, we'd like to make it up to you.

  Mick Jagger : We're doing a gig tomorrow to benefit the victims of tonight's gig. And we'd consider it an honor if you'd join us.

  [holding up a jacket with "guitar hero" stitched on the back] 

  Homer : Well, you're very sweet, Mick. But the only rocking I wanna do is in my living room chair surrounded by the world's greatest backup group, my family.

  Lisa : [transition to him taking the kids to school the following day]  Are you sure you don't miss hanging out with your rock-star friends, Dad?

  Homer : No, I got something to remember 'em by.

  [he chuckles as it's revealed he's driving the Satan-head stage prop] 

  Homer : Have fun at school, kids.

  Bart Simpson : Later, Homer.

  Principal Skinner : Mr. Simpson, this zone is for school buses only.

  Homer : [using the flame thrower to burn off Skinner's clothes]  Rock and roll! Whoo-hoo!

• Mick Jagger : We're doing a benefit gig before we leave town. How would you like to join us on-stage?

  Homer : For serious?

  Keith Richards : For serious, Homer.

  Homer : Can I have 40 guest passes?

  [Mick looks to Keith, who shrugs; Mick, in turn, nods at Homer] 

  Homer : Whoo-hoo!

• Mick Jagger : [double-checking a huge stage prop shaped like a demon head]  Okay, let's see the eyes.

  [red lights illuminate from the eyes] 

  Keith Richards : Now the fire.

  [a burst of flame is emitted from the mouth, which he uses to light his cigarette] 

  Keith Richards : Thanks, mate.

  Lenny Kravitz : Couldn't you find a more fuel-efficient Satan?

  Mick Jagger : Lenny, don't you have a crotch to stuff?

• Homer : Evening, fellow rockers.

  Elvis Costello : There you are. We thought we were gonna have to go on without you.

  Homer : I'm ready. Just give me a guitar. How many solos should I do? Four?

  [blank stares] 

  Homer : I'll do four.

  Tom Petty : Uh, Homer, you didn't think you were gonna be playing with...

  Homer : [gasping]  My official tour jacket! Lookit...

  [seeing "honorary roadie" on the back] 

  Homer : Wait. You misspelled "guitar hero".

  Mick Jagger : Look, sorry if there's been a misunderstanding, Homer. We really just need you to tap the mics and say "Test. Test."

  Homer : Can't you do it?

  [as Keith opens his mouth in shock, his cigarette falls out, and Mick folds his arms over his chest] 

  Homer : [sadly]  Oh. Okay. So I'll, uh... okay.

• Marge : That was great, Homie.

  Homer : What the hell are you doing here?

  Mick Jagger : Camp is over, Homer.

  Homer : It's been a week already?

  Marge : I'm glad you had fun, but it's time to come home.

  Tom Petty : Your mother's right, Homer.

  [Marge scowls] 

  Tom Petty : Gotta get back to the real world.

  Mick Jagger : Yeah, we've all gotta get home. My lawn's not gonna mow itself.

  Keith Richards : And I've gotta put up the storm windows. Winter's coming.

  Homer : Wait. Don't go. I wanna keep on rocking.

  [to his fellow campers] 

  Homer : Come on, guys. A-one, a-two...

  Elvis Costello : [pulling up on his motorcycle]  I'll take that.

  Homer : [Elvis takes his guitar and leaves]  No!

  Elvis Costello : [coming back]  It came with a pick.