The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer the Moe (2001)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Chinese Officer, Chinese General, Barney Gumble, Professor, Man #2

Quotes 

• [singing along with an R.E.M. song] 

  Homer : Leonardo what-his-name, Herman Munster motorcade, birthday party Cheet-Os, pogo sticks and lemonade, idiotic stupid jerk, that's right Flanders, I am talking about you!

• Moe : You can't run a bar in your garage, it's illegal.

  Homer : Bar? This isn't a bar. This is a hunting club.

  Michael Stipe : You lied to us.

  [Michael Stipe smashes a beer bottle and tries to attack Homer] 

  Peter Buck : Michael, no.

  Mike Mills : It's not the R.E.M. way.

  Michael Stipe : You're right. Come on, let's recycle these shards and get out of here.

• Lisa : This is pretty far to go just to spite Moe, isn't it?

  Homer : It's not about spite, it's about petty revenge, and getting back at that traitor Moe.

• [while Moe is away, Homer is in charge of the bar] 

  Homer : [picks up phone]  Hello?

  Bart : Uh, yeah, I'd like to speak to a Mr. Tabooger. First name Ollie.

  Homer : Ooh, Bart. My first prank call. What do I do?

  Bart : Just ask if anyone knows Ollie Tabooger.

  Homer : I don't get it.

  Bart : Yell out "I'll eat a booger".

  Homer : What's the gag?

  Bart : [sighs]  Oh, forget it.

  [hangs up] 

• [Homer, Lenny, Carl and Barney are sitting in Homer's garage, drinking] 

  Homer : [to Marge]  Barkeep. Another beer.

  Marge : Wasn't this supposed to be your tavern?

  Homer : It's a family place. Right, kids?

  Lisa : Can we go to bed now?

• Homer : Jeez, Moe you've been a real crank lately.

  Moe : [points shotgun in Homer's face]  You take that BACK!

• Homer : [while hunting]  Heeere, turkey turkey turkey . Tuuuuurkey turkey turkey turkey turkey. Nobody's gonna kill you!

• Marge : What are you reading, Homie?

  Homer : [reading newspaper]  The Bridge column. Heh heh heh heh heh. Oh, that South. You never know what he'll do next!