The Simpsons (TV Series)

D'oh-in' in the Wind (1998)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson

Quotes 

• Lisa Simpson : Dad, do you mind? Your feet are really close to my potato.

  Homer Simpson : Your potato? You can't, like, own a potato, man. It's one of Mother Earth's creatures.

  [he burps] 

  Marge Simpson : Homer! Excuse yourself!

  Homer Simpson : No way, narc! Bodily functions are a natural thing.

  Bart Simpson : Not to mention hilarious.

  Marge Simpson : You know, I really don't appreciate being called a narc. And that poncho is filthy! Let me dry-clean it for you.

  Homer Simpson : Why do you have to turn everything into one big plastic hassle? Marge, you've got too many hang-ups. Like the whole shaving trip. Come on, I want to see those legs all furry and gross!

  Marge Simpson : That ain't gonna happen, bub.

  Homer Simpson : Well, at least lose the bra. Free the Springfield Two, Marge! Free the Springfield Two!

• [Homer is in a car with hippies Seth and Munchie. Marge is walking down the street] 

  Homer : Hi, Marge. We're freaking out squares.

  Marge : Oh, Lord...

  Homer : What's in your brand new bag, momma?

  Marge : Oh, it's that pair of Dockers you wanted. Forty-eight waist with the balloon seat, right?

  Homer : [panicking]  Marge, not in front of the hippies.

  [Seth and Munchie laugh] 

• [Homer has to write his full name on an application form but he doesn't know what his middle initial stands for] 

  Bart : Uh, so Dad, regarding that form, why not just make up a middle name?

  Lisa : You might as well. You already made up a phony film credit.

  Homer : No. Homer Simpson does not lie twice on the same form. He never has and he never will.

  Marge : You lied dozens of times on our mortgage application.

  Homer : Yeah, but they were all part of a single ball of lies. The point is, I'm a grown man, and I deserve a middle name.