- Bud Krelman: [walks into Rick and A.J.'s office] Hiya boys!
- Andrew Jackson 'A.J.' Simon: Uncle Buddy! How nice to see you. What can we do for you?
- Bud Krelman: [shakes Rick's hand] Rick, nice to see ya boy. A.J.,
- [proceeds to shake A.J.'s hand and notices a shiner and bandage over his eye]
- Bud Krelman: holy mackerel!
- [clears his throat]
- Bud Krelman: I want to hire you fellas. Edie's been cheatin' on me. She just ripped off our joint bank account for five grand and I need your help. I want a divorce.
- Rick Simon: [scene cuts to all three walking outside on a sidewalk and a small footbridge] Well, we'd love to help you out Bud but don't you think there's a little bit of conflict of interest here? I mean we are working for Edie.
- Bud Krelman: Well, you guys are the only dicks I know.
- [short pause]
- Bud Krelman: I mean investigators. Anyway, we both got the same lawyer.