Seinfeld (TV Series)
The Soup Nazi (1995)
Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld
Quotes
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George Costanza : [Soup Nazi gives him a look] Medium turkey chili.
[instantly moves to the cashier]
Jerry Seinfeld : Medium crab bisque.
George Costanza : [looks in his bag and notices no bread in it] I didn't get any bread.
Jerry Seinfeld : Just forget it. Let it go.
George Costanza : Um, excuse me, I - I think you forgot my bread.
Soup Nazi : Bread, $2 extra.
George Costanza : $2? But everyone in front of me got free bread.
Soup Nazi : You want bread?
George Costanza : Yes, please.
Soup Nazi : $3!
George Costanza : What?
Soup Nazi : NO SOUP FOR YOU!
[snaps his fingers. The cashier instantly takes George's soup and gives him back his money]
-
Jerry Seinfeld : What are you gonna get?
Sheila : I'll decide at the last minute.
Jerry Seinfeld : You better decide, sister. You're on deck.
[Sheila kisses him]
Jerry Seinfeld : Sheila!
Soup Nazi : [pounds on the counter hard] HEY!
Jerry Seinfeld : Uh oh.
Soup Nazi : What is this? You're kissing in my line? NOBODY KISSES IN MY LINE!
Sheila : I can kiss anywhere I want to.
Soup Nazi : You just cost yourself a soup!
Sheila : HOW DARE YOU! C'mon Jerry, we're leaving.
[leaves the soup kitchen, but Jerry stays. Sheila comes back in]
Sheila : Jerry?
Jerry Seinfeld : Do I know you?
-
[first lines]
Jerry Seinfeld : Yes, I'm a very lazy eater. I like... That's why I like soup. First of all, it looks half-digested when they put it down in front of you. So you feel like half the work is done already. I'm hoping Campbell's comes out with, like, an IV line of soup, so you could just jam right into your arm, you know? Campbell's tomato intravenous. Mainline gumbo. Everyone just sitting around at dinner with their soup IV just hanging on the hook there, you know? "How's yours, Grandpa?" Oh, chunky style.
-
Jerry Seinfeld : Have you tasted the soup?
Elaine Benes : Yeah, alright, you made the right decision.
Jerry Seinfeld : See, the way I figure it, it's much easier to patch things up with Sheila than with the Soup Nazi.
-
Jerry Seinfeld : You will be stunned.
Elaine Benes : Stunned by soup?
Jerry Seinfeld : You can't eat this soup standing up, you're knees buckle.