Photos
Quotes
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Jerry Seinfeld : "Seven"? Yeah, I guess I can see it: seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches per beating and eventually seven years to life.
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Jerry Seinfeld : Hey, is this your half a can of soda in the fridge?
Cosmo Kramer : No, that's yours. My half is gone.
Jerry Seinfeld : What?
Cosmo Kramer : Yeah, I put my half a can here on the tab. Why, what's your beef?
Jerry Seinfeld : You cannot buy half a can of soda.
Cosmo Kramer : Well, why not?
Jerry Seinfeld : Well, I don't wanna get into the whole physics of carbonation with you here, but you know the sound a can makes when you open it?
Cosmo Kramer : Yeah.
Jerry Seinfeld : That is the sound of you buying a whole can.
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Elaine : [Elaine's is in pain from her neck] Ah, I think I really strained it. Ow.
Jerry : Aw, I doubt you strained it. Maybe you pulled it.
Elaine : Ach, maybe.
Jerry : Did you twist it? You coulda twisted it.
Elaine : I don't know.
Jerry : Did you wrench it? Did you jam it? Maybe you squeezed it. Turned it...
Elaine : [patience exhausted] You know what, why don't you just shut the hell up?
Jerry : Awright.
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Jerry : [George plans to name his first child "Seven"] Awright, let's see. How about Mug? Mug Costanza, that's original. Or uh, Ketchup? Pretty name for a girl.
George Costanza : Alright, you having a good time there?
Jerry : [Jerry is in the kitchen, and opens a cupboard] I got fifty right here in the cupboard. How about Bisquik? Pimento. Gherkin. Sauce. Maxwell House.
George Costanza : Awright already! This is a very key issue with me, Jerry. I had this name for a long time.
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[first lines]
Jerry Seinfeld : I love it when people are complimented on something they're wearing, and they accept the compliment as if it was about them. "Nice tie. -- Well, thank you. Thank you very much." The compliment is for the tie. It's not for you. But we take it. And that's kind of the job of clothes: to get compliments for us. Because it's very hard to get compliments based on your human qualities. Right? Let's face it. No matter how nice a person you are, nobody is gonna come and say, "Hey, nice person." It's much easier to be a bastard and just try and match the colors up.
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Jerry Seinfeld : When you pierce the skin of a piece of fruit, you've bought the whole fruit. Not a third of an apple, not a half of a banana.
Cosmo Kramer : All right.
Jerry Seinfeld : You bite it, you bought it.
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Cosmo Kramer : Hey Jerry, if you're gonna be snackin' on these you can't expect me to pay for the whole box.
Jerry Seinfeld : Alright, Hobo Joe. I didn't wanna put a damper on your little smorgasbord here but it's the end of the week and I added up your tab...
Cosmo Kramer : [Taken aback...] Yaddup...
Jerry Seinfeld : I know, pretty steep!
Cosmo Kramer : I don't have this kinda cash...
Jerry Seinfeld : Few do.
Cosmo Kramer : I'm good for it!
Jerry Seinfeld : Yeah well, until this bill is paid, the food court is closed.
