Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Scofflaw (1995)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jerry Seinfeld : You look like a pirate.

  Cosmo Kramer : I want to be a pirate.

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : The big new accessory with eyeglasses seems to be that strap that connects in the back so you can take 'em on and off. Which I don't get, because I thought if you have glasses, isn't that because you need to wear glasses? You need glasses. Isn't that what they say? I mean, an eye doctor doesn't say, "Would you care for some glasses?" When people have crutches, they don't have like a little chain attached to their belt, so they can just let go of them every now and then. Why not get a toupee with a rubber band for when you're water-skiing?

• Jerry Seinfeld : You don't think I can keep a secret?

  Jerry Seinfeld : No, but he would have read your face.

  George Costanza : You don't trust my poker face?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Do you ever win at poker?

  George Costanza : No.