Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Pool Guy (1995)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

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Quotes 

• George Costanza : You have no idea of the *magnitude* of this thing! If she is allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza as you know him, *ceases* to exist! You see, right now, I have Relationship George, but there is also Independent George. That's the George you know, the George you grew up with - Movie George, Coffee Shop George, Liar George, Bawdy George.

  Jerry Seinfeld : I love that George.

  George Costanza : Me too! And he's dying Jerry! If Relationship George walks through this door, he will kill Independent George! A George, divided against itself, *cannot* stand!

• Jerry Seinfeld : Hey Elaine.

  Elaine Benes : Hey.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Who do you think would win in a fight between me and gorgeous George here?

  Elaine Benes : You mean in a real *fight* fight?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Mano a baldo.

  Elaine Benes : George.

  George Costanza : Ah-Ha!

  Jerry Seinfeld : Why?

  Elaine Benes : George fights dirty.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Really? What would you do?

  George Costanza : Pull hair, poke eyes, groin stuff. Whatever I gotta do.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Hmm.

• George Costanza : Well, that was really a stupid thing! You know what's gonna happen now?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Worlds collide.

  George Costanza : Yeah!

  Jerry Seinfeld : Because this world is your sanctuary... and if that world comes in contact with this world...

  George Costanza : Yes! It blows up! So, if you know that, what did you tell Elaine for?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I didn't know. Kramer told me about the worlds.

  George Costanza : You couldn't figure out the worlds theory for yourself? It's just common sense! Anybody knows you gotta keep your worlds apart!

• Cosmo Kramer : That's gonna be trouble.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Why?

  Cosmo Kramer : Jerry, don't you see? This world here, this is George's sanctuary. If Susan comes into contact with this world, his worlds collide. You know what happens then?

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : When did tick-tack-toe become the pound sign? That's what I'd like to know. Why don't they call it what it really is? "Leave your numeric message now, and then press Archie's head." And what is that redial button? Let's face it, you're either gonna get the person, the machine, or they have call waiting. Who is redialing and redialing? This is like the harassment key for people in a fight, you know?