- Cosmo Kramer: Well, my swimming pool problems are solved. I just found myself miles and miles of open lanes.
- Jerry: What is that smell?
- Cosmo Kramer: That's East River.
- Jerry: You're swimming in the East River? The most heavily trafficked, overly contaminated waterway on the eastern seaboard?
- Cosmo Kramer: Technically Norfolk has more gross tonnage.
- Jerry: How could you swim in that water?
- Cosmo Kramer: I saw a couple of other guys out there.
- Jerry: Swimming?
- Cosmo Kramer: Floating, they weren't moving much. But they were out there.
- George Steinbrenner: [after finding a Playboy and candy in George's desk:]
- George Steinbrenner: Just empty calories and male curiosity, eh Georgie boy?
- George Costanza: I can't to myself. I'm exhausted.
- Jerry: Can you grab a nap at work.
- George Costanza: Not with that big glass window looking out into the hall. I'd love a good nap. That's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning
- Cosmo Kramer: Well, my swimming pool problems are solved. I just found miles and miles of open lanes.
- Jerry: What is that smell?
- Cosmo Kramer: That's the East River.
- Jerry: You're swimming in the East River? The most heavily trafficked, overly contaminated waterway on the Eastern seaboard?
- Cosmo Kramer: Technically Norfolk has more gross tonnage.
- Elaine Benes: Hal sent a mattress to my apartment. The nerve of that guy.
- Jerry Seinfeld: Why?
- Elaine Benes: He's got a back problem.
- Jerry Seinfeld: So you think he was expecting a roll in the supportive hay?
- Cosmo Kramer: My old one sprung a leak.
- Elaine Benes: You have a water bed?
- Cosmo Kramer: Sand. It's like sleeping on the beach.
- Cosmo Kramer: At 10, they start the aquacise, 35 geriatrics throwing elbows. It was like I was swimming through a flabby-armed spanking machine.
- Hal Kitzmiller: I buy all my furniture at an ergonomics store.
- Elaine Benes: Oh, those places have the stupidest names, like Back in Business or Good Vertebrations.
- Hal Kitzmiller: Not this one. It's called the Lumbar Yard.