Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Mom and Pop Store (1994)

Jason Alexander: George Costanza

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Costanza : Hey... you don't think... sure, that's Jon Voight's pencil!

  Jerry Seinfeld : With Jon Voight's teeth marks.

  [pulls out the owners manual from the glove box] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Owner's manual... you know what? This car was owned by Jon Voight.

  George Costanza : Ah! See? I told ya.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Except Jon is spelled with an H. J-O-H-N.

  George Costanza : So?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Doesn't Jon Voight spell his name J-O-N?

  George Costanza : So, what are you saying?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Nothing. I'm sure "Jon" probably mispelled his own name. I know sometimes I spell Jerry with a G... and an I!

  [laughing uproariously] 

  George Costanza : [agitated]  Get out of the car!

  Jerry Seinfeld : What?

  George Costanza : That's right, you heard me. Get out. You are ruining this whole experience for me.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, look! There's Gregory Peck's bicycle!

  George Costanza : Get out!

  Jerry Seinfeld : And Barbara Mandrell's skateboard!

  George Costanza : Get out!

• Jerry Seinfeld : Hey! Did you get the Volvo?

  George Costanza : No, I decided to go with an '89 LeBaron.

  Elaine Benes : A LeBaron?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I thought Consumer said Volvo was the car?

  George Costanza : What Consumer? I'm the consumer.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Alright. Seems like... a strange choice.

  George Costanza : Well, maybe so... but it was good enough for Mr. Jon Voight.

  Elaine Benes : Jon Voight? The actor?

  George Costanza : [boasting]  That's right. He just happened to be the previous owner of the vehicle.

  Jerry Seinfeld : You bought a car because it belonged to Jon Voight?

  George Costanza : [defensive]  No, no...

  Jerry Seinfeld : I think yes, yes. You like the idea of telling people you're driving Jon Voight's car.

• George Costanza : [singing]  Everybody's talkin' at me, I can't hear a word they're sayin', just drivin' around in Jon Voight's car.

• Tim Whatley : That's John Voight's pencil?

  George Costanza : That's right. I got his whole car downstairs.

  Tim Whatley : Are you the one who bought his LeBaron convertible?

  George Costanza : Yes! Yes, I'm the one! Hey! So, you know Jon Voight!

  Tim Whatley : Yes! Yes, I went to dental school with him.

  George Costanza : Jon Voight, the actor?

  Tim Whatley : No. The periodontist.

• Morgan : So George, what kind of promotional events are we talking about?

  George Costanza : Well, I think we need more special days at the stadium, you know? Like, uh... Joe Pepitone Day. Or, uh... Jon Voight Day.

  Morgan : Jon Voight? The actor?

  [rolls his eyes wearily at George's suggestion] 

  Morgan : Uh, I make a motion that we have no more of these meetings that have been initiated by George Costanza.

  George Costanza : I suppose if I had suggested Liam Neeson Day, you'd all be patting me on the back.

• George Costanza : What's so great about a Mom and Pop store? Let me tell you something. If my Mom and Pop ran a store, I wouldn't shop there.

• George Costanza : Jerry, for all I know, the guy went out of his way to not invite you. How am I gonna feel if I show up with an uninvited unwelcome intruder?

  Jerry Seinfeld : The way I feel when I go places with you?