Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Mom and Pop Store (1994)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kramer : I've been asking around. They didn't even have any kids.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Mom and Pop aren't even a Mom and Pop?

  Kramer : It was all an act, Jerry. They conned us, and they scored, big time.

  Elaine Benes : [amused]  So, Mom and Pop's plan was to move into the neighborhood, establish trust for 48 years and then, run off with Jerry's sneakers?

  Kramer : Apparently

• [Jerry tries on the other pair of shoes he has available: a pair of narrow, leather Western-style boots] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : I can't wear these. They look ridiculous.

  Kramer : Well, you look like a cowboy!

  Jerry Seinfeld : I don't wanna be a cowboy!

• George Costanza : Hey... you don't think... sure, that's Jon Voight's pencil!

  Jerry Seinfeld : With Jon Voight's teeth marks.

  [pulls out the owners manual from the glove box] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Owner's manual... you know what? This car was owned by Jon Voight.

  George Costanza : Ah! See? I told ya.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Except Jon is spelled with an H. J-O-H-N.

  George Costanza : So?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Doesn't Jon Voight spell his name J-O-N?

  George Costanza : So, what are you saying?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Nothing. I'm sure "Jon" probably mispelled his own name. I know sometimes I spell Jerry with a G... and an I!

  [laughing uproariously] 

  George Costanza : [agitated]  Get out of the car!

  Jerry Seinfeld : What?

  George Costanza : That's right, you heard me. Get out. You are ruining this whole experience for me.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, look! There's Gregory Peck's bicycle!

  George Costanza : Get out!

  Jerry Seinfeld : And Barbara Mandrell's skateboard!

  George Costanza : Get out!

• Jerry Seinfeld : Hey! Did you get the Volvo?

  George Costanza : No, I decided to go with an '89 LeBaron.

  Elaine Benes : A LeBaron?

  Jerry Seinfeld : I thought Consumer said Volvo was the car?

  George Costanza : What Consumer? I'm the consumer.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Alright. Seems like... a strange choice.

  George Costanza : Well, maybe so... but it was good enough for Mr. Jon Voight.

  Elaine Benes : Jon Voight? The actor?

  George Costanza : [boasting]  That's right. He just happened to be the previous owner of the vehicle.

  Jerry Seinfeld : You bought a car because it belonged to Jon Voight?

  George Costanza : [defensive]  No, no...

  Jerry Seinfeld : I think yes, yes. You like the idea of telling people you're driving Jon Voight's car.

• [last lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : The marching band is a perfect example of taking something bad, and making it difficult too. I mean, why does the band have to march? We're not moving. Maybe if they'd hold still, we can all leave. Is that why they do it? People try and get away. No, you don't. I'm right with you. Right with you, buddy. The human urge to wave at total strangers just moving by is very strong, isn't it? Parades and ocean liners and those little trains that go through amusement parks. It's always that bittersweet, kind of hello-goodbye combination wave, isn't it? Just: "I've never seen these people before in my life, and they're leaving."

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Car names are so stupid, aren't they? No baron has ever owned a LeBaron. Or the Ford LTD. LTD -- Limited; it's a limited edition. What do they make, 50 million of those? Yes, it's limited to the number we can sell. Or when they try and mangle a positive word into a car name. You know how they'll do that? The Integra. Oh, integrity? No. Integra. The Supra or the Impreza. Yeah, well, I hope it's not a "lemona," huh? Or you'll be hearing from my "lawya."

• George Costanza : Jerry, for all I know, the guy went out of his way to not invite you. How am I gonna feel if I show up with an uninvited unwelcome intruder?

  Jerry Seinfeld : The way I feel when I go places with you?