Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Letter (1992)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Costanza : Button Fly! Why do they put buttons on a fly? It takes 10 minutes to get these things open.

  Jerry Seinfeld : I like the button fly.

  George Costanza : What?

  Jerry Seinfeld : That is one place on my wardrobe I do not need sharp interlocking metal teeth.

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Do you think that the security guards in the art museums really ever stop anybody from taking the paintings? I mean, are they going up to... "Hey, hey, hey, where do you think you're going with that? Hey, come over here. Come over here. Give me that Cezanne." I mean, look at the job that this man is hired to do. He's getting $5.00 an hour to protect millions of dollars of priceless art, with what? He's got a light mocha brown uniform and a USA Today. This is what he's got. I mean, crooks must look at this guy and go, "All right, all we've got to do is get past the folding chair and the thermos of coffee, we can get a Rembrandt."

• [last lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Baseball season's starting. I'm very excited about that. Did you ever sneak down to better seats at the game and get caught by the usher? When you're a kid, it doesn't matter, because you're always getting chased from everyplace anyway. When you're an adult, it's really embarrassing to get caught. You have to pretend like there's some confusion, so you put on this whole act. You're looking at the tickets. "I don't understand how this could have happened. Let me see. Oh, I see the problem. These are very good seats. I have very bad seats. That's the misunderstanding."

• Jerry Seinfeld : The posse has tremendous appeal. Get away from the job, you camp out, you're with friends. I mean, come on, it's a week-long game of hide-and-go-seek on horseback.