Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Kiss Hello (1995)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jerry Seinfeld : You think I want another family? My father's demanding my uncle pay interest on fifty dollars he was supposed to give my mother in 1941 and my uncle put my nana in a home to try and shut her up! And I tell you another thing, Cosmo Kramer, whatever you wanna be called. The kissing thing is over. There's no more kissing, and I don't care what the consequences are.

  [Kramer kisses Jerry full on the mouth. The door opens and George half-enters. Kramer releases Jerry, who stands bug-eyed with shock. George stands silently in the doorway and looks from Jerry to Kramer with a thoughtful expression. Biting his lip, George slowly backs out of the door and closes it behind him] 

• Jerry Seinfeld : If you could, say, touch a breast as part of the kiss hello, then I think I could see the value a little better.

  Elaine Benes : How about an intercourse hello? How would that be?

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Now, I was thinking the other day about hair and that the weird thing about it is that people will touch other people's hair. You will actually kiss another human being right on the head. But if one of those hairs should somehow be able to get out of that skull and go off on its own, it is now the vilest, most disgusting thing that you can encounter. The same hair. People freak out. "There was a hair in the egg salad."