Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Jacket (1991)

Jason Alexander: George Costanza

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Costanza : Master of the house, keeper of the inn...

  [Jerry proudly models his new jacket in front of George. George looks in admiration at the jacket] 

  George Costanza : This is huge! When did this happen?

  Jerry Seinfeld : Wednesday. This jacket has completely changed my life. When I leave the house in this, it's with a whole different confidence. Like tonight, I might've been a little nervous. But, inside this jacket, I am composed, grounded, secure that I can meet an social challenge.

  George Costanza : [Nods]  Can I say one thing to you? And I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality.

  Jerry Seinfeld : Absolutely.

  George Costanza : It's fabulous.

• George Costanza : If she doesn't show up, we can't possibly have dinner with him alone.

  Jerry Seinfeld : How are we gonna get out of it?

  George Costanza : We'll say we're frightened and we have to go home!

  Jerry Seinfeld : Yeah, that's good. He'd clunk our heads together like Moe!

• Alton Benes : Which one's supposed to be the funny guy?

  George Costanza : Oh, he's the comedian.

  Jerry Seinfeld : I'm just a regular person.

  George Costanza : No, no. He's just being modest.

  Alton Benes : We had a funny guy with us in Korea. A tailgunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific. There's nothing funny about that!

• [George is singing "Master of the House" from Les Miserables] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : What is that song?

  George Costanza : Oh, it's from Les Miserables. I went to see it last week. I can't get it out of my head. I just keep singing it over and over. It just comes out. I have no control over it. I'm singing it on elevators, buses. I sing it in front of clients. It's taking over my life.

  Jerry Seinfeld : You know, Schumann went mad from that.

  George Costanza : Artie Schumann? From Camp Hatchapee?

  Jerry Seinfeld : No, you idiot.

  George Costanza : What are you, Bud Abbott? What are you calling me an idiot for?

  Jerry Seinfeld : You don't know Robert Schumann? The composer?

  George Costanza : Oh, Schu-MANN. Of course.

  Jerry Seinfeld : He went crazy from one note. He couldn't get it out of his head. I think it was an A. He kept repeating it over and over again. He had to be institutionalized.

  George Costanza : Really? Well, what if it doesn't stop?

  [Jerry shrugs his shoulders]