Seinfeld (TV Series) The Alternate Side (1991) User Reviews

Elaine: Tell them to hurry. Jerry: It's an ambulance.

[bombersflyup · 9/10 · 27 April 2022]

The Alternate Side is about George taking up parking cars on the block, after Jerry's car's stolen.

Not an episode I remember by name, I confuse it with the one where Elaine acquires three identical friends. A good episode though, riddled with endearing characterization, both in dialogue and physical expression. The line "These pretzels are making me thirsty"'s memorable, just not attached to the title. Don't like how Sid doesn't take responsibility, yet still has an attitude, people constantly walk all over Jerry because of his financial situation and goodwill. The car rental reservation discussion's excellent. Jerry's standup's decent as well.

Jerry: I don't understand, I made a reservation, do you have my reservation? Agent: Yes, we do, unfortunately we ran out of cars. Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation. Agent: I know why we have reservations. Jerry: I don't think you do. If you did, I'd have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to "hold" the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.

I don't want to get into a big dispute about the pants

[fredrikgunerius · 8/10 · 9 August 2023]

"The Alternate Side" is in many ways a classic Seinfeld episode in that there are several stortlines woven together, and all but one of them (the one about Elaine's 66 year old boyfriend) gel and have something new to offer. Jerry is particularly funny when discussing the concept of reservations at a car rental service. And the character of Sid - the guy who works as Jerry's car mover - is a fresh addition. They even manage to include a subplot about Woody Allen (who obviously does not appear) without it becoming too silly. Kudos to Larry David for the writing on this episode.

Best line: "I don't want to get into a big dispute about the pants."

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!"

[MaxBorg89 · 10/10 · 11 November 2008]

Given the similarities in comic sensibility between Larry David/Jerry Seinfeld and Woody Allen (not to mention the fact that Larry has had minor roles in a few of Woody's films), it was only a matter of time before the quintessential New York director was in some way involved in the making of an episode of the ultimate New York TV show. The episode in question is the borderline genius The Alternate Side, which continues the series' tradition of bringing out the best (read: worst) in the personalities of Kramer, George and Elaine.

Allen's role in the plot is minimal, in fact he doesn't appear at all. It is just mentioned that he's shooting his latest movie (which would have to be Husbands and Wives, given the air date of the episode) not so far away from Jerry's apartment, and Kramer is lucky enough to get a small speaking part in the film. George is less thrilled by Woody's presence, given the film crew's presence prevents him from doing his job well (he's supposed to make sure no one parks their car on a certain side of the street on that particular day and move any vehicle that inadvertently breaks the rule). Meanwhile, Elaine dates an older man and ends up in trouble when the latter has a heart attack, and jerry, staying in motor-related territory, has to deal with the theft of his car.

The Alternate Side, apart from merging two comedic universes (Allen and Seinfeld), is one of the highlights of Season 3 for how it uses Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus is some exquisitely absurd situations (as usual, George is the king). It is verbally speaking, however, that the episode scores its biggest triumph, with Kramer's deliberately pointless movie line: "These pretzels are making me thirsty!". Just like Kelsey Grammar, who was given bad lines on purpose by the writers of Cheers to see if he could make them funny, Michael Richards turns that nonsense into an instantly quotable Zinger, which rightfully went on to become one of the show's most enduring catchphrases (and this, worth noting, was before the fourth season made Seinfeld a nationwide hit). Those pretzels, indeed.

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!". Excellent Episode, that's very funny and quite underrated in my opinion

[callanvass · 29 March 2006]

*plot. George's job moving cars from one side of the street to the other turns out to be much harder then he expected. Kramer gets a line in a Woody Allen film: "These pretzels are making me thirsty". Elaine has troubles breaking up with her 66 year old boyfriend Owen.

This is an excellent episode, that's very funny and quite underrated in my opinion!. Jason Alexander is hilarious in this one, as I loved his reactions when he was having troubles with parking the cars, and I also found it funny when Elaine's boyfriend Owen(Edward Penn), has a heart attack, as they try to fix him and shove cookies in his mouth, plus this is very well directed by Tom Cherones, and written by Bill Masters. Jerry's opening stand up about car alarms was especially funny, and This is very well made as well, plus the conversation between Jerry and the guy that stole his car is very funny. I loved the scene when Jerry gets annoyed about how the car rental salesman didn't keep his reservation, and this is episode is quite clever as well, plus it's filled with classic moments!. This is an excellent episode, that's very funny and quite underrated in my opinion, and I say it's a must see for every Seinfeld fan if you haven't. ****1/2 out of 5

Favorite quotes

(Jerry's conversation with the guy who stole his car). Car stealer: Hello?. Jerry: Hello, is this 555-8383?. Car stealer: I have no idea. Jerry: Can I ask you a question?. Car stealer: Sure. Jerry: Did you steal my car?. Car stealer: Yes I did. Jerry: You did!. Car stealer: I did. Jerry: But that's my car!. Car stealer: I didn't know it was yours. Jerry: What are you gonna do with it?. Car stealer: I don't know drive around. Jerry: Then can I have it back?. Car stealer: No I'm gonna keep it. Kramer: Let me talk to him, give it, give it, hello?. Car stealer: Yeah who's this?. Kramer: Kramer. Car stealer: Hello Kramer. Kramer: Listen there's a pair of gloves in the glove department. Car stealer: Wait hold it, brown ones?. Kramer: Yeah, listen could you you mail those to me, or bring them by my building, it's 129 West 81st Street. Car stealer: 129...OK. Kramer: Alright thanks a lot here's Jerry. Jerry(Snatching phone): Gloves. Jerry: Hello?. Car stealer: Jerry?. Jerry: Yeah let me ask you a question, how do you cross those wires?. Car stealer: I didn't cross any wires the keys were in it. Jerry: Sid left the keys in it the car, alright I gotta go drive carefully. Car stealer: Hey Jerry, when's the last time you had a tune up because I can't find....click (hang up)

(Elaine talking to Jerry about Owen). Jerry: 66 years old?!. Elaine: Yeah well he's in perfect health, he works out he's vibrant, You'd really like him. Jerry: Why do people always say that?, I hate everybody. Elaine: So what do you think, could you go out with a 66 year old woman?. Jerry: Well I'll tell you, she would have to be really vibrant, so vibrant, She'd be spinning.

(jerry's argument with the rental car salesman). Rental lady: Well we do have a compact if you would like that. Jerry: Fine. Rental lady: Alright. Lady: Well we have a blue Ford Escort for you Mr. Seinfeld, would you like insurance?. Jerry: Yeah you better give the insurance, because I am gonna beat the hell out of this thing!.

(ending). Jerry: Let me get that. George: No, no I got it. Jerry: Please. George: Now come on, I'm the one who smashed your car, it cost over 2000$. Jerry: Yeah a cup of coffee should cover it.

Woody

[bevo-13678 · 10/10 · 19 June 2020]

I like the bit about the pretzels in particular the salt content and imhow they make you thirsty

A Hundred Miles an Hour

[Hitchcoc · 10/10 · 11 May 2022]

This show is in perpetual motion. Jerry's car gets stolen and he is left hight and dry. He ends up calling the thief who has his car phone. There is a scene at the car rental place that was almost too real. We have reserved cars and then found they weren't available. George takes over a parking job and nearly causes the death of a man. Kramer gets into the act, almost getting a line in a Woody Allen movie. Hilarious.

THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIIIIIIIRRRRRRRSSSZSZZSSSTTTTYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😡😡😡😡

[ThetaProtocol · 10/10 · 6 October 2021]

And that is the humour of it. Woody Allen didn't know what he was more missing out on.

Giddy up!

[safenoe · 10/10 · 24 March 2024]

Yep, these pretzels are making me thirsty, I love it! Yes, The Alternate Side, from season three of one of the best sitcoms from the 1990s, along with Parker Lewis Can't Lose and The Critic and The Simpsons of course, is the origin of the first Seinfeld catchphrase to go viral before the internet was invented, these pretzels are making me thirsty!

It was uttered by Kramer, played by Michael Richards, and it must be one of the most quoted catchphrases from Seinfeld, apart from giddy up and the master domain one, and Vandelay Industries just to name a few. No doubt there are many others to enjoy.

A weird Seinfeld feel episode.

[ThunderKing6 · 6/10 · 11 March 2023]

Every time before I eat pretzels I remember to say "these pretzels are making me thirsty".

Surky enough they do and I drink water.

March 11th 2023.

What is this episode about?: A few things.

Elaine is a W word and is dating a rich old guy who passes out.

Jerry deal with the car rental people

George parks cars.

Kramer gets a part in the Woody Allen movie.

Story and production: A crazy story. The alternate side belongs in its separate category because iunno why but this episode feels out of place vs others.

There's a lot going on however they mange to squeeze all. The Rascels stories into 23 minutes.

The old guy on Jerry sofa had some weird moments like them feeding him crackers and talking about his face while he's passed out.

Highlight: George outburst and these pretzels are making me thirsty.

Luagh meter: 7

Villian: Hollywood for causing chaos In the busy streets of the NYC.

What can be learned? Leave New York and drink water when you eat pretzels.

Verdict: a weird episode done very well.

Thirsty pretzels

[dannylee-78082 · 6/10 · 14 March 2023]

1. Jerry's car gets stolen 2. George crashes cars 3. Elaine breaks up

For some reason, I didn't like this episode as much. It's got the right qualities such as the absurd storyline that connects well at the end, but it just failed to make me laugh a lot. Elaine dating an older man shows her tendencies but the older man Owen is also superficial because he states that he just dated her for sex offscreen. The Woody Allen reference and plotline was funny enough but I think it would have been funnier if I understood what kind of person he is supposed to be. George takes it really hard in this episode because it turns out he can't even run a parking job, further adding to his insecurity. He's the butt of all the jokes but I have feels for this man.

Same thing happened to me almost exactly.

[thompsonjayalan · 11 October 2022]

I said the same thing in another Country around the same time to the car rental agent never having seen the episode. Had to pick up some big shots and they keep calling it a "reservation" with no vehicle. As they went on, the only thing that really bothered me was that they would not stop calling it a "reservation"!

In the end my superior (a great guy) had heard about it, as they were not used to dealing with a true panic situation with me reminding them to stop calling it that.

When he saw me he said "I heard you stirred up quite a ruckus down there with the rental", I rolled my eyes as if to say that was not worth trying to defend.