"Seinfeld" The Abstinence (TV Episode 1996) Poster

(TV Series)

(1996)

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9/10
Sorry guys, it just doesn't work this way..
AlsExGal6 September 2021
... and maybe that is part of what makes it funny. That and George and Elaine going completely out of character.

George's girlfriend has mononucleosis and cannot have sex for six weeks. As a result, George becomes mentally sharper and picks up science and foreign languages easily. Elaine's boyfriend has been failing his medical boards, so Elaine ceases having sex with him so he can concentrate on passing the test. As a result, Elaine becomes more and more stupid, becoming easily amused by simple things such as an animated tired display in front of a store.

Jerry's theory is that when men don't have sex it is like having the garbage taken out - they become sharper. And that likewise when women are abstinent it is like a garbage strike, and all of the mental garbage just piles up, having an opposite effect.

In fact, that's getting things backwards. If women go without sex long enough they just forget about it. Abstinent men don't become stupid, but it doesn't free up their minds for higher pursuits either. But this does make a great script.

There is also a funny subplot about Kramer starting a smoking lounge in his apartment and getting the effects of a lifetime of smoking on his face in just a few days. He turns to charismatic lawyer Jackie, played ironically by Phil Morris, to try and sue the tobacco companies.
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9/10
Genius George
Samuel-Shovel27 February 2019
Warning: Spoilers
In "The Abstinence" George can't have sex with his girlfriend, causing his IQ to shoot through the roof. Kramer turns his apartment into a smoker's lounge but isn't pleased with the side effects of his appearance. Jerry is asked to do career day at his old middle school but gets upset when he's bumped from the speaking arrangement. Elaine dates a man on his way to being a doctor but must first pass his exams.

Bob Odenkirk, Jackie Chiles, Debra Jo Rupp! All kinds of great guest appearances in this episode. All of it combines to make one of the more memorable ones of the season. I think all the jokes really work here and all the little subplots come together nicely, a really fine episode!
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10/10
Funny episode.
Sirus_the_Virus11 October 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The Plot: George has to stop having sex with his girlfriend, and it turns him into a genius. Elaine stops having sex also, but it has the reverse effect. Jerry gets bumped from career day at his old Jr. high school. Instead, he has a two hour assembly.

The Abstinence is a very funny episode. The funniest part about this episode is Elaine. Watching Elaine acts stupid is funny. In this episode, she turns really, really stupid. She looks at a spinning tire and is amazed. She thinks Winnie the Pooh is funny. I also liked what happens with Jerry at the middle school. The abstinence is a great,great episode.
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10/10
May be the best of all.
daddysarm25 September 2020
George is hilarious acting intelligent rather than his usual annoying loser stuff. Ellen's facial expressions are hilarious all the way through this one.
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10/10
Bang
bevo-1367823 June 2020
I like how George got really smart but then dumb again
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10/10
Great Nonsensical Plot
Hitchcoc22 March 2023
George's girlfriend gets mono and can't have sex for six weeks. Since he decides to wait, his mind clears and he becomes a genius. He's getting perfect answers as he watches Jeopardy. He learns Portuguese. Meanwhile, Elaine is having a time with a doctor who isn't a doctor because he can't pass his boards. He is played by Bob Odenkirk from Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad. This relationship has a cool ending as Elaine is getting dumber all the time. Another plot is Kramer using his apartment as a place where people can smoke and the results of that. The utter absurdity that has made this show the greatest is all on display here. Superb.
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8/10
Six weeks
safenoe26 March 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Bob Odenkirk, who later gained superstardom in Better Call Saul, plays Ben, a medical intern who is dating Elaine, and we find that he dumps Elaine as soon as he becomes a doctor. Brenda Strong returns as Elaine's nemesis Sue Ellen Mischke, and I only realized thanks to search engines that Brenda is six feet tall, so almost as tall as Michael Richards.

Anyway, here George becomes an intellectual giant after abstaining from the beast with two backs for six (New Zealanders pronounce six a different way) weeks, but at the end he does the beast with two backs with a waitress, and this is on top of him doing the beast with two backs with a cleaning lady in an earlier episode.
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