Scrubs (TV Series)

My Unicorn (2004)

Judy Reyes: Nurse Carla Espinosa

Quotes 

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [voice-over]  Life in a hospital is never boring.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : What the hell are you guys doing?

  [J.D. and Turk are shown running in slow motion] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Practicing our slow motion run.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Makes everything seem more dramatic.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : You're doctors. Doctors.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Baby?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Go get her, Turk!

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Waaaaaaiiiiit!

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Oh, he's slow.

• Dr. Elliot Reid : I have been kicking ass lately, but this place is such a boys' club. I still can't even get x-rays or lab tests back on time.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Hey, Elliot, if you're desperate to get things done, you could always do what Jordan does.

  Jordan Sullivan : [to a security guard]  Could you move my car out of the sun? If the seat gets too hot, my thighs get all pink and sweaty.

  [the security guard rushes off] 

  Jordan Sullivan : Yeah. Bye-bye, security guard.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Hmm. Very classy.

• Nurse Carla Espinosa : Elliot, wait! Elliot, you did your flirty manipulation thing in front of that guy in there and now he thinks you're this despicable floozy ho excuse for a doctor.

• Nurse Carla Espinosa : Okay, I put interview guy in the lounge and told him that Elliot was with a patient. Now, how are we gonna fix this thing?

  The Janitor : You're okay. The guy wanted an orange soda, right? We bring him an orange soda, maybe the whole thing goes away.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Okay, here's the plan: Jordan and I will take care of interview guy. Soft-Scrub, you can do whatever the hell you want.

  The Janitor : I will.

• Dr. Christopher Turk : You created a monster. Elliot did a little tongue dance in Franklyn's ear just to get him to do her labs before mine.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : So she used her femininity! The only reason you usually get your lab work back so fast is because you always pick Franklyn to play basketball even though he always shoots his foul shots granny-style.

• Dr. Elliot Reid : Franklyn, I was wondering if you could put a rush on Mr. Lowenstein's urinaylsis because I've got a really important interview for a fellowship next year.

  Franklyn : No. We're done talking now.

  [walks away] 

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Elliot, we can help.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : No! No, you will not turn Elliot into some flirtatious manipulator. I mean, don't get me wrong, outside the hospital, Elliot with her hair up is a slammin' hottie, but in here she's an asexual mess. And that's the natural order of things and you don't mess with the natural order!

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : Elliot, don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about.