Scrubs (TV Series)

My Sex Buddy (2003)

Sarah Chalke: Dr. Elliot Reid

Quotes 

• Dr. Cox : Oh, joy. I get to work on Mrs. Credin with the Wonder Twins. Dear Lord, what in thy most Holy Name have I done to offend thee so?

  Elliot : My brother Bradley and I used to always pretend that we were the Wonder Twins. He would always become "form of a dragon" and then I would want to be a dragon too, but he said I'd be something made of water, so I'd be like "shape of an ice dragon"! And then he would say that I was copying him and he'd breath on me and I'd have to melt, but it was still *so* awesome.

  Dr. Cox : That's funny, I don't recall asking for a really

  [x10] 

  Dr. Cox : , ree-heeely boring story. My God, Barbie! Don't you understand no one cares?

  Turk : I care.

  Dr. Cox : Correction: no one important cares.

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Elliot? What are you doing?

  Elliot : [teary]  Sitting in the dark... crying. So, you know, the usual.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Oh. Okay.

  Elliot : [She rushes over to him and collapses in his arms]  J.D., I had such a crappy day. I really need you right now. Come here.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [She starts kissing him and tugging at his clothes] 

  [Voice over] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : She needs you? Oh, my God, Turk was right. You have to stop kissing her, and put an end to this before she gets hurt!

  Elliot : [She pulls back to look at him]  Is there something wrong?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [Voice over]  Eh, she's a tough kid -- you can tell her later.

  [Out loud] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Nope!

  [They resume kissing] 

• Elliot : [JD and Elliot wake up in bed together]  I'm so relaxed. It's like I totally forgot about being a doctor, you know?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : You're a doctor?

  Elliot : Problem is that we already know that we don't work as a couple.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Oh, we're a train wreck.

  Elliot : So we can't keep doing this.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hello, and whoa!

  Elliot : J.D., it's just sex.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Look, Elliot, we're adults. I don't think we have to apologize for enjoying what we're doing.

  [Voice over] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : And that's when she said the words every man is dying to hear.

  Elliot : I guess we could just be sex buddies.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [JD pauses, hearing a triumphant trumpet music playing] 

  [Out loud, casually] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : If you want... .

• Elliot : Dr. Cox. I just wanted to let you know that Turk did the right thing by taking my patients off of my service.

  Dr. Cox : Noooo. What that yellow-bellied scalpel jock should have done was to go down to Surgery and schedule himself for an early morning add-a-pair-tomy. That way, if it took, he'd have the stones to at least come and talk to you next time he had a problem.

  Elliot : I just can't seem to stop letting my life out there affect my life in here, you know?

  Dr. Cox : Well, hell, Barbie... look at me. It's not like I've always been the centered, well-adjusted guy-smiley you see walking up and down the halls of this dump; I mean, stuff like that takes time. But, eventually, you learn to keep your personal problems separate from this place.

  Elliot : So, what do I do until then?

  Dr. Cox : You get your damn life in order.

• Elliot : [the morning after]  The point is, we were stressed out and vulnerable, and we made a mistake.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Four times... . And a half, if you count that last thing.

• Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [about what he and Elliot could do]  . We could rent a movie. I have a fresh deck on UNO cards. You now what we *could* do? We could have sex like we did last night. I'm just throwing it out there.

  Elliot : Bite me!

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Oh come on! I'm sorry. I was just kidding! It was a joke.

  Elliot : [walks toward the bedroom]  . I mean it. Like you did last night. Come bite me.