Scrubs (TV Series)
My Self-Examination (2004)
John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox
Quotes
-
Dr. Perry Cox : Those pants make your ass look giant.
Jordan Sullivan : Stop doing this.
Dr. Perry Cox : I'm doing it for us. You suck at Scrabble.
Jordan Sullivan : Do I look mad?
Dr. Perry Cox : You have so much Botox in your expressionless face I can't tell.
Jordan Sullivan : Ah ah ah...
Dr. Perry Cox : Oh, is that a frown?
Jordan Sullivan : What else you got?
Dr. Perry Cox : Well, when it's my turn to listen to the baby monitor, I just wait 'till you're asleep and I turn it off.
Jordan Sullivan : Perry, give it up. There's nothing you can say.
Dr. Perry Cox : Ah... You and your mother are basically the same person.
Jordan Sullivan : [whispering angrily] What did you say? I will kill you!
Dr. Perry Cox : If you don't wanna fight in front of Jack anymore, I understand; but I don't think that means we gotta stop all together. I mean, Jordan, you are an unpredictable, passionate person and you challenge me each and every day; and honestly that's the reason I can imagine being with you when I'm 70 and you're 65, and your face is 40 and your boobs are 29.
Jordan Sullivan : My face will never look 40!
Dr. Perry Cox : You're right. My bad.
-
Jordan Sullivan : [Jordan and Dr. Cox's fighting make their son cry] If we keep this up, we're gonna scar him for life!
Dr. Perry Cox : I don't necessarily buy into all that new agey crap. One time I saw my mom knock my father unconscious with a frying pan. You know what I did? I kept right on going with my birthday party.
-
Nurse Carla Espinosa : [Dr. Cox looks up at Carla, the flesh all around his mouth bright red] Why is your mouth red?
Dr. Perry Cox : Duct-taped two hours in a morgue drawer; don't piss off the Janitor; end of story.
-
Nurse Carla Espinosa : I'm ordering more pens. Do you like twisty bottoms or clicky tops?
Dr. Perry Cox : I can't imagine anything I care less about.
Dr. Bob Kelso : [Dr. Kelso enters, struggling with the pen in his hand] Damn these twisty bottoms. We need some more clicky tops.
Dr. Perry Cox : Not gonna happen, Bob. Here I just told Carla to order a hundred thousand twisty bottoms.
Dr. Bob Kelso : Nice face. But can't you just order a box of clicky tops for me?
Dr. Perry Cox : No, Bob. Everybody gets the same.
Dr. Bob Kelso : Fine. I'll just take these.
[He reaches for a cup of pens on the desk. Dr. Cox slaps the cup across the nurses' station]
Dr. Bob Kelso : You just bought yourself four weekends on call!
[He exits, still struggling with his pen]
Dr. Bob Kelso : Damn twisty bottoms!
Nurse Carla Espinosa : You just said you didn't care. Why are you fighting?
Dr. Perry Cox : [whining] I can't stop!
-
Nurse Carla Espinosa : Dr. Cox
[Dr. Cox looks up]
Nurse Carla Espinosa : Why is your mouth red?
Dr. Perry Cox : Duct tape, 2 hours in a morgue drawer, don't piss off the janitor, end of story.
Nurse Carla Espinosa : Okay, I'm ordering more pens. Do you like twisty bottoms or clicky tops?
Dr. Perry Cox : I can't imagine anything I care less about.
Dr. Bob Kelso : Damn these twisty bottoms, we need some more clicky tops.
Dr. Perry Cox : Not gonna happen, Bob. Here I just told Carla to order a hundred thousand twisty bottoms.
Dr. Bob Kelso : Nice face. But can't you just order a box of clicky tops for me?
Dr. Perry Cox : No, Bob, everybody gets the same.
Dr. Bob Kelso : Fine.
[sees a box of clicky top pens]
Dr. Bob Kelso : I'll just take these.
[reaches for pens, Dr. Cox knocks the pens off the counter]
Dr. Bob Kelso : You just bought yourself four weekends on call! Damn twisty bottoms!
Nurse Carla Espinosa : You just said you don't care. Why are you fighting?
Dr. Perry Cox : I can't stop.
