Scrubs (TV Series)
My Rite of Passage (2006)
Donald Faison: Dr. Christopher Turk
Quotes
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Dr. Christopher Turk : How do I know this guy?
Dr. Perry Cox : Maybe you used to date him?
Dr. Christopher Turk : Oh that's so clever. I'm gay! Wow! It's good!
Dr. Perry Cox : I'm tired.
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Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : How funny is this joke: That patients tumor is so big it's starting to look like a three-mor.
Keith : [walking by, fake laughing] Three-mor... you are hilarious Dr D.!
Dr. Christopher Turk : Awful! Awful! Awful!
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Dr. Perry Cox : Oh. Would everyone please watch this? Because nobody, but nobody, cries like Sammy. He leads off with the Chin Quiver.
[Thompson does so]
Dr. Perry Cox : Then he goes right to the Look Away.
[Thompson drops his eyes, and waves off Jordan's hand on his shoulder]
Dr. Perry Cox : He tries to hold it back but he just can't because there's too much pain!
[Thompson's body shudders]
Dr. Perry Cox : And then finally, he squeezes out one single... tear
[mock cries and leads the applause]
Dr. Perry Cox : ... Ladies and gentlemen, that is some quality Crack Addict Theatre!
Dr. Christopher Turk : I can't watch this.
Nurse Roberts : Then move your big, bald biscuit head! Some of us don't have cable.
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Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : Hey, how come Elliot never invites us over to her hospital?
Nurse Carla Espinosa : She probably doesn't want you guys embarrassing her.
Dr. Christopher Turk : How would we embarrass her?
Nurse Carla Espinosa : Oh, maybe by diagnosing all your female patient with Turk-Fever.
Dr. Christopher Turk : Honey, a lot of women suffer from that.
Dr. John "J.D." Dorian : It's true, I even had it.
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Jordan Sullivan : Sam? What are you doing back here?
Sam Thompson : Hey, lambchop. Uh, crazy story - I was, uh, I was taking a bus to my plane ticket, there was an accident, and thank God I'm alive. I'd hug you but I, uh, uuuggghhh!
[wiggles handcuffed hand and chuckles]
Dr. Kelso : Jordan. This is one of our most famous con artist-slash-drug addicts.
Sam Thompson : Nice to see you, sir.
Dr. Kelso : You as well. Turkleton? You've dealt with him before.
Sam Thompson : Hey, dude!
Dr. Kelso : why didn't you tell her?
Dr. Christopher Turk : [Pointing at Cox] 'Cause he told me not to!
Dr. Perry Cox : This is gonna cost you.
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Dr. Christopher Turk : I can't watch this.
Nurse Roberts : Then move your big, bald, biscuit head! Some of us don't have cable.