Scrubs (TV Series)

My Moment of Un-Truth (2004)

Sarah Chalke: Dr. Elliot Reid

Quotes 

• Dr. Bob Kelso : Dr Reid, why are you using standard macrolides to treat your patient instead of Clo-Veritol?

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Uhm... ehm...

  Dr. Perry Cox : Oh! Clo-Veritol is a drug? No, honestly, Bob, here I was under the impression that it was a travel agency, what with all the free golf trips they've gone ahead and sent you on.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : I'll have you note that I do not authorize any drug for this hospital that I haven't personally researched.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : What did the research for Clo-Veritol say, sir?

  Dr. Bob Kelso : ..."When life's not fair... at all... use Clo-Veritol".

  [leaves. Elliot smiles satisfied] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : Check out Barbie boo-hottie slamming Big Bob... that a girl!

  Dr. Elliot Reid : I have spent the last three years in this hospital getting pushed around because I'm little Barbie from Connecticut. But there's a new toy in town and her name is Bitch-Slap Barbie... from... Connecticut...

  Dr. Perry Cox : Still, let's remember that you can't even drive the doctor-car without big daddy sitting right there besides you, because you went ahead and accidentally gave the patient over in bed 4 macrolides and opiates, two medications that, I guarantee you, are gonna make her nauseous.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : [scoffs]  My patient is fine, and I don't need you...

  [sound of the patient vomiting] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : I roughly think that would be the faint sound of your patient vomiting; you may be having trouble hearing it over the much louder sound of me being right yet again. Ooooh...

  [Elliot leaves; Cox looks over himself and sighs] 

  Dr. Perry Cox : God! My brilliance is now becoming a bit of a burden. Get back to me.

• Dr. Elliot Reid : Mr. Thompson, I have decided I'd like to prescribe you something for the pain.

  Mr. Thompson : Well, you know, that's your call.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : [She begins to write out the prescription, then stops]  There's just... one little problem.

  Mr. Thompson : [flipping out]  Oh, my God! Just give me the drugs! 'Kay, lady? For God's sake, I've been working you from every possible angle: I refused pain killers; I did the "you're the greatest doctor!" bit, which I know you loved; then somewhere between, uh, getting a tube in my ass and a tube in my mouth - which, by the way, I'm still praying wasn't the same tube - I found time to do the whole "I'm writhing in pain but I don't know if you're watching me" thing! So please, or pretty please, or however you want me to say it, Doctor, why don't you say it! Why don't you say it! Why don't you tell me what the problem is, AND SAY IT!

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Um... I was just gonna say that my pen doesn't work, and I needed a new one to write out your dosage.

  Mr. Thompson : Oh.

  [pause] 

  Mr. Thompson : Awesome.

  [There's a whistle from outside, and Elliot turns to look out the observation window at Dr. Cox doing a peppy little "I told you so" jig]