Scrubs (TV Series)

My Last Chance (2004)

Sarah Chalke: Dr. Elliot Reid

Quotes 

• J.D. : If you bring sarcasm my way, baby, prepare to be stung.

  Elliot : J.D...

  J.D. : So's your face.

  Elliot : That doesn't even make any sense.

  J.D. : 'So's your face' always makes sense.

  Carla : J.D., that's stupid.

  J.D. : So's your face! Man, I am on fire, hello.

• Elliot : Admit we're not even, or I'll make you pay.

  J.D. : Heh, yeah, now that we're friends and there's no chance of us ever having sex again, there's really not a whole lot I

  [air quotes] 

  J.D. : "need" from you, okay? So g'head and give it your best shot.

  [hops on a passing gurney] 

  J.D. : Andele, Juan!

• Elliot : [over the phone]  J.D., this is ridiculous, it's 4 o'clock in the morning. Even if you catch her, she's leaving for the airport in like ten minutes.

  J.D. : That's perfect! That'll leave us five minutes to cuddle!

• J.D. : Hey, Elliot, I was making out some prescription orders -- and speaking of making out...

  Elliot : She already told me, J.D.

  J.D. : Oh, damn, I was afraid that was gonna get out.

  [raising voice] 

  J.D. : Does anybody else know that I totally made out with Molly?

• J.D. : [coming out of a fantasy]  You ever get the feeling our patients pretend to be sicker when we're around?

  Elliot : Oh, yeah. You know Mrs. Wilson back there? She made her spleen pretend to rupture, and then she pretended to die.

  [a body is wheeled through] 

  Elliot : Got me again, there, Mrs. Wilson!

• Elliot : [about Molly]  I can't believe she's leaving!

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Hospital just lost its second-hottest employee.

  Carla : Don't think you can drool all over her just because you rank me number one.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Baby, Nurse Tisdale's number one.

  [Carla gives him a dirty look] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : You g--you gotta be single to be on the list.

  Elliot : You actually rank the women of this hospital by their appearance?

  J.D. : Calm down, Twelve.

  Elliot : [to self]  Yes, top twenty!