Scrubs (TV Series)
My Hypocritical Oath (2005)
Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [J.D. enters where James and Kylie are waiting] Hey, I heard a great joke. A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth." And the dentist says, "Well, if you think you're a moth, why are you at a dentist's office?"
[Thinking]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Oh, no, I forgot the punchline... You can't bail out now! Stall! Stall!
[Out loud]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : ... So the moth says..."That's a good question. What kind of dentist are you?" And the dentist says, "Well, I'm a general dentist, but I... I do dabble in orthodontry - braces and such." And... and the moth says, "Orthodontry? I hear there's great money in that."
[Thinking]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : "The light was on"!
[Out loud]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : "But! To answer your original question, which was, if I think I'm a moth, why am I in a dentist's office? The answer is, Because the light was on!"
[Kylie bursts out laughing. James stares blankly]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : The light! The light, James. Moths love light.
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Dr. Christopher Turk : Dude! You can't tell her! They won't let you be a doctor anymore!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Who cares! I'd make more money bartending!
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Kylie : What happened to your eye?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Oh, this, it's a little embarrassing. I was playing baske...
Dr. Christopher Turk : [Turk enters] Embarrassing for me, actually, see... .
[Quietly to J.D]
Dr. Christopher Turk : It's wing-man time.
[to Kylie]
Dr. Christopher Turk : We were playing basketball, and he scored eight buckets in a row on yours truly.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Yeah. I ally-ooped him.
Dr. Christopher Turk : [Under breath] Shut up.
Kylie : [to James] Mmm! You coulda used J.D. at Seton Hall!
Dr. Christopher Turk : [to J.D] Oh, also, the soup kitchen where you volunteer called, and they said--
[to James]
Dr. Christopher Turk : You played ball at Seton Hall?
James : All four years.
Dr. Christopher Turk : Get outta here!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Did-did-did the soup kitchen where I volunteer have a message?
Dr. Christopher Turk : Yeah, they're out of broth. So what was like playing college ball?
