Scrubs (TV Series)

My Fifteen Seconds (2003)

John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Cox : Tammy, as far as your love life goes, normally I couldn't care less who's laying your quivering body down by the fire while your lips whisper "No, no... no" but your eyes scream, "Yes. Yes. Oh, BIG DADDY, YES!" But when you're dating Jordan's sissy-poo, it forces me to spend time with you outside of the hospital, and I just won't have that. So, hhhere's the deal: Don't want to have dinner with you. Don't want to go bowling with you. And I never, ever again want to walk into my kitchen and hear you say,

  [singing] 

  Dr. Cox : "Ohh, it's waffle time! It's waffle time! Won't you have some waffles of mine?"

• Dr. Cox : [the interns are watching Dr Phil on TV; Dr. Cox walks in and shuts it off, causing all the interns to moan]  Fine! I'll go and tell you how it ends. Dr. Phil says

  [in a Southern accent] 

  Dr. Cox : "And how is that working out... for you?" And then the fat lady cries, "WAH!"

• Dr. Cox : Look, Tammy, as far as your love life goes, normally I couldn't care less who's laying your quivering body down by the fire while your lips whisper "No, no... no" but your eyes scream, "Yes. Yes. Oh, big daddy, yes!" But when you're dating Jordan's sissy-poo, it forces me to spend time with you outside of the hospital, and I just won't have that. So, shhhere's the deal: Don't want to have dinner with you. Don't want to go bowling with you. And I never, ever again want to walk into my kitchen and hear you say,

  [singing] 

  Dr. Cox : "Ohh, it's waffle time! It's waffle time! Won't you have some waffles of mine?"

  J.D. : [joining in]  "... waffles of mine..."

  Dr. Cox : Bottom line. We'll be bestest friends foreverest if you just keep your face out of my face. Uh-huh.

• Dr. Cox : Now, just because Jordan thinks it's cute that you're violating her little sister, doesn't mean you can use my guestroom for your nerdy G-rated sexcapades.

• Dr. Perry Cox : Lookit, after shooting my mouth off the other night I've been feeling a lot of... well... .

  Jordan : Guilt.

  Dr. Perry Cox : No. Not that.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Guilt?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Yes, that.

  Jordan : Ugh.

  Dr. Perry Cox : [to J.D]  I... I don't like her to be right.

• Jordan : Sweetie, you can't take this personally. He's a doctor -- they don't listen to anyone.

  Dr. Perry Cox : Please don't lump us all together with numb-nuts over here.

  Jordan : Oh, really? This morning I asked you to do me a favor involving my mother. What was it?

  Dr. Perry Cox : Well... I can only hope that it had something to do with hiring people to kill her?

  [He crosses his fingers hopefully] 

• Dr. Perry Cox : Well, you have done it. It's Friday night, and instead of being at home, drinking whiskey through my son's sippy cup, I'm actually at a carnival with you, surrounded by piles of manure even though I've yet to see a single animal!

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : That IS weird.

• Dr. Christopher Turk : [Dr. Kelso follows behind Turk, who speaks to the other staffers] 

  [loud and chipper] 

  Dr. Christopher Turk : All right, people, listen up: Dr. Kelso has ruptured both his eardrums. You could say whatever you want to him as long as you got a smile on your face! holla!

  Dr. Perry Cox : Bob! You stupid motherf--

  [garbled] 

  Dr. Bob Kelso : [Dr. Cox, Todd, and Carla all smile at Kelso, who only hears garbled sounds]  Thanks for the kind words, gang!