Scrubs (TV Series)
My Female Trouble (2004)
Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian
Quotes
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Carla : Girls! I want an explanation.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Fine. Turk, tell her our code.
Turk : If you haven't had sex in six months, you're not accountable for who you sleep with.
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Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Okay, this woman is horrifying, so don't panic.
Jordan Sullivan : I'll be fine.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I was talking to myself.
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Carla : What is the matter with you two? JD, you said you were going to break up with Neena.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I know! Believe me, the whole time we were having sex I was thinking about Turk. That came out wrong.
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Jordan Sullivan : You are so much stronger than all the other idiot residents around here.
Dr. Elliot Reid : Really?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Jordan? I need you to break up with someone for me.
Jordan Sullivan : Really.
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Carla : JD, how could you do this to Turk? You two are so close that I occassionally have nightmares of running away together.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Where do we go?
Turk : One time we went to Aspen.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Oh, I hope it was summer. I'm not that big a skier.
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Neena Broderick : Morning. I'll see you at the deposition. I'll try not to spank your lawyer as hard as I spanked him last night.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Bye! FYI, there was no spanking last night, okay?
Carla : Really? Then this won't hurt then.
[spanks J.D]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Nope.
Turk : Hit him again, baby.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Why?
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Carla : Here's what's going to happen. You're going to drop this lawsuit because it's wrong and you know it. But also because if you don't, I'm going to pound the plaid right off of that shirt and make it so that the only way you'll be able to eat pie is through a straw!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Jordan's making me stretch out her new jeans.
Dr. Perry Cox : Cry me a river. Guess what Gandhi's wife is making me do because if supposedly "broke his spirit".
Harvey Corman : Ever since the operation, I've been serving lefty so it could be a little unpredictable.
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Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Wait, hold on Turk! Haven't you ever heard of keeping your enemies closer? I was just keeping her close!
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Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [Voice over] After spreading half a tube of what I thought was burn ointment on my butt, it was off to work.
Dr. Elliot Reid : [sniffs the air] What smells like Vagisil?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Nothing.