Scrubs (TV Series)
My Common Enemy (2004)
Ken Jenkins: Dr. Bob Kelso
Quotes
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Dr. Perry Cox : Thanks to your little gesture, she actually believes that the earth is full of people who, deep down, are filled with kindness and caring!
Dr. Kelso : Well that's absurd. People are bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Dr. Perry Cox : Exactly!
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Dr. Kelso : Dr Clock, may I have a word?
Dr. Perry Cox : Uh-oh... it's payback time...
Dr. Kelso : I got you a present for your trip to Mexico: it's my old Spanish-to-English dictionary. I don't need it anymore, I've mastered the language.
Dr. Molly Clock : Gracias, señor!
Dr. Kelso : You're welcom-o!
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Dr. Kelso : Now, our old hospital psychiatrist used to write my wife, Enid, a prescription for crazy pills. He was a dear, dear friend, but he died or moved or something and now I need you to do the honors.
Dr. Molly Clock : Have her come in for a few sessions, I'll gladly prescribe antidepressants.
Dr. Kelso : That's going to be a problem.
Dr. Molly Clock : Why?
Dr. Kelso : She doesn't know she's taking them.
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[Turk is asking Dr. Kelso for a favor]
Turk : Sir, I promise you, if you offer her the job again she'll say yes. And I'll do anything, I'll pick up extra shifts, I'll volunteer - I'll volunteer at the clinic; Whatever you want!
Dr. Kelso : Ahh! I want you to kill the giant bat that's been living in my attic!
Turk : You keep Enid in the attic?
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Dr. Kelso : [to Molly] Turns out you can't go to your mom's wedding. There's too much shift-switching going on here and I don't like shift-switching. It's too hard to say!
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Dr. Kelso : Dr. Clock, you don't have to miss your wedding. I was lying about shift-switching. I like doing it, I like saying it -- shift-switching. And I only lied because we were trying to destroy your morale.
Dr. Molly Clock : Why would you do that?
Dr. Perry Cox : Well, in our defense, you're overly cheery and we were bored.
