- The Janitor: Floor's wet. You know, I liked the way Blond Doctor looked. Brightened my day. But you don't care. Cause you're unconscious.
- Dr. Cox: So I'm pretty much thinking it's time to get the fear back. Now I am sorry but I think life is just too short to spend your time working some place where people don't crap their pants at the mere sight of ya.
- Dr. Cox: First off let me just say thank you. For the last couple of months, I have been adrift in a sea of puppy dogs, lollipops and let's face it, mediocre metaphors. Luckily you people were kind enough to piss all over learning a procedure, that could determine whether some poor sucker lives or dies, and that reminded me of something, that I wanted to remind you of. Because you see, I am accountable. I am accountable for the continuous crashing undeniable amateurism that you people drag into this hospital day in and day out. And believe you me when I tell you, that the next time one of you perpetual disappointments doesn't even have the common decency to try and do better at something you supposedly do, I will go ahead and toss your sorry ass out of here in about ten seconds and then I will forget you forever in the next five.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [Thinking] With the long hours at a hospital, you don't have time to worry about your appearance.
- [a mousy, unkempt female doctor enters, stopping at the desk next to J.D]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [Thinking] It may sound sexist, but with the female doctors, it's slightly more noticeable.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Hey Janice. Is it windy out?
- Janice: No. Why do you always ask me that?
- [She walks off, offended]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Because I'm - I'm captain of m-m-my kite-flying team? The M-m-mighty Kites?