- Dr. Cox: Hey there, Bridge Club. How're you feeling?
- Mrs. Warner: I feel like crap. What the hell is wrong with me?
- Dr. Cox: Your abdominal pain suggests you have billiary disease but all yours test came back negative. So we don't exactly know what's wrong with you.
- J.D.: But don't worry. Dr. Cox and I never say die. Unless of course someone actually dies then we're kinda forced to by law.
- Mrs. Warner: He's talking again.
- Dr. Cox: Listen up, bubby. If you really want to help me, why don't you quiet down and get yourself some rest. And then if you're a really good girl, I'll wind up your car and take you out to a talkie.
- Mrs. Warner: [after Dr. Cox leaves the room] Oooo, I could do naughty things to that man.
- J.D.: Uncomfortable.
- Mrs. Kellerman: Besides, can you two honestly say there's not one thing you'd change about yourself if you could?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: I can honestly say that.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Me too.
- Mrs. Kellerman: Then you're both liars.
- Dr. Todd Quinlan: [entering room] Hey, Mrs. K. Let's get you into a fresh pair of blouse bunnies.
- [about his wife]
- Dr. Kelso: Fat camp. Six years she's been going there, and the only thing getting any thinner is my wallet!