Quotes
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J.D. : It was all right; we spent most of the time dealing with the headstone problem. See, since Dad was an office supplies salesman, he wanted it to be shaped like a pencil.
Turk : So?
Dan Dorian : So, it looked like a giant marble penis - which I maintain, Dad would have liked even more.
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Carla : Welcome to Turk's head. You look hot!
Dr. Clock : Wait a minute... you're not a lesbian.
Carla : I am in here.
Dr. Clock : Yeah... me too!
[they lean in to kiss]
J.D. : [waking up] Dammit! Molly, you're a shrink: why is it my daydreams always end right before the sexy part?
Dr. Clock : I don't know, maybe we should work on that... together.
[leans in to kiss him]
J.D. : [waking up] Dammit!
Turk : Dude! Relax!... and enjoy hot chocolate loooove.
[leans in to kiss him]
J.D. : Snap out of it! Abort! ABORT!
J.D. : [waking up] STOP IT! I DON'T HAVE GAY JUNGLE FEVER!
Turk : Okay, we should go!
Carla : Yeah!
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Carla : Baby, what do you want for lunch today?
Turk : Baby, please, not in front of her.
Dr. Clock : Turk, why are you not comfortable around me?
Turk : You have the ability to get in people's heads. And I don't want you to take this negatively or anything like that, but that makes you a Devil Woman.
Dr. Clock : Please, I mean, who could imagine what it's like in your head?
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Carla : You're not allowed to get sick, you're my "Superman." I mean, if you're in bed, who's going to give me my back rubs, or unscrew the peanut butter jar, or... walk around all day in my new high heels just to stretch them out.
Turk : [quickly, to Molly] She's kidding! I've never done that.
[quietly, to Carla]
Turk : Not in front of the Devil Woman.
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J.D. : [Carla serves Turk a chocolate cake] What's the occasion?
Turk : [leaning in] I... have type II diabetes.
J.D. : Really?
Turk : Yeah.
J.D. : That sucks. Carla is aware that if you eat that your foot will fall off, right?
Turk : Well, I haven't told her yet. But I'm pretty sure she knows, 'cause right now she's trying to get me to 'fess up by tempting her Chocolatey Goodness with chocolatey goodness.
